Confusion Hath Wracked.

No.
They don't know, and they will never know. For they are oblivious and nonchalant to matters when the heart is scalded, where the wounds are re-opened. Cut open, once and twice but the world will always hurt you, yet again.

A knife, a plunge, a pull.
seconds pass in derailed torment.
mind full of confusion, wrathed repeatedly.
a fool never becomes smarter, he remains.
once hurt twice shy. not this guy.
trying over and over again.
but, really. do they like you?
do they appreciate you?

i used to say, only when you lose something will you know how valuable it is. but sometimes, its just way too late to regret. appreciation. why is it so hard. gentle and caring. will anyone know what torture my mind hath unleashed upon a person so lone as me? perhaps you might know, but to feel what i have with who i am, is severely weakening.

when will it take to break me. for as long as i've known, i havent said that in a long time. it hurts, it burns, it kills. to be metaphorical, to live now is to die another day - in anguish. why is it i harbour feelings so raw inside to unleash it in tears, wasted on gloom and fool. the glee of the moment, the heat of the discussions, the depth of the words, the sharpness and bluntness of your handpicked phrases.

to know, and live. is tormentful and suicidal to thyself.