The Sad Songs In My Head.

Like a desert where its hot and its cold, life too deals you cards which dont always strike a combination, or a chord. With little to want, comes little to worry. With little to worry comes little to bother, which comes little to show care, and concern. With not only temperature that flactuates, change also occurs. Landscapes form with sand dunes and patterns, even the most intricate and/or ugliest of all - it still is one. Every one of them counts. 

Oh Marcus, what do you expect? a question i do ask myself more than frequently. Usually, i come back with a "i dont know" or "well, just happiness and to be blessed". but truly, is that enough? are we at all satisfied with what we have? is it wrong to want more? as below-mentioned in my previous post, bipolarism. There are always two sides to a coin. Its only which side you view it from, and when you choose to fix your roots and not change or listen up; we become rigid, unloving, cold, inhumane, fools, and many other horrible things. I dont deny that i havent been that person many a time. But i'm only human (just like you), so dont go picking on me and pretending that you're so innocent too. We all make these mistakes in life. This is one of the flaws. 

I dont flaunt myself by acting as if i'm solid and emotionless. i'm full of emotions, easily hurt due to sensitivity and openness. Naivety some might call it, i call it being true to another. If you don't hit it off with me, we're just not on the right topics. And that is why some of my friends realize that my person tends to be louder and voluble. We're all human, we all get hurt with words, and actions. Sensitivity is in the form of actions by showing that you understand and care based on discretion. If sensitivity is void, so is care, and when care is void? yes, so is love. This paragraph might not be professionally written or factual in full, but its what i believe and how i think. Respect who i am and what my beliefs are. 

Today was great. I looked forward to it so much. Elated and overjoyed for the later part of the day, i went by my dull, mundane life. And when things actually did turn bad despite me hoping my best it wouldnt; i truly lost the meaning of my life, shivering even when it wasnt cold at all. Voice quivering as if i had seen a ghost. And as if the night had cut short its performance, my hopes and esteem dipped to its low. And as midnight approached (that of now), tears slowly found its way down the face of the heart. With almost nothing left - when you're that single,simple person who has shed your shell to the world; you're hopeful that someone would come around to pick you up, and give you a smile, pat you on the back, crack a joke, cackle and laugh before ending in a smile and a well deserved sleep.

I'm sorry it didnt happen to me, and that i couldnt do that to you either. i guess that today, wasnt that great afterall....