Be It Me.

i've been feeling a bit out of my area. out of my comfrot zone. its that feeling of incompleteness. like something is amiss. but why should i? i dont exactly wana imagine what i am gonna go through from now on. my world's just fading away because i feel so disoriented. i just wana let time take its toll on me. its what i advise others as well. but i feel so unsatisfied with my decision.

school has been a real cycle. a routine so boring already. a little too early actually. i'm glad i am understanding lectures though. i'm really trying to pay attention rather than while my time away by playing games (to which i never would anyway). and i'm glad i'm making friends with people from TF04 too. they are one awesome bunch! ambassador's games session today was rather interesting. everything was quite cool. obviously, more than many could handle. before i start getting arrogant, i shall stop.

and back it comes to me. i dont know what to do. i feel so lost. i feel so alone. i really am so unsure of what to do. whats the best for the two. what you intend to do. whats left for me. what option can i take. you know i want it so badly. ): sometimes i feel so cold. like we're experiencing a cold winter for the longest time ever. though nothing said, its like i dont really know you anymore. ): i hope this isnt a reason to push me away.

anyway. if you're saliva droolingly wanting to know whats going on. stop. i wont tell anyone anything. dont probe into my life. do so, and i'll be unkind. anyways. whatever it is. life goes on, as per normal. not on the verge of suicide.....not just yet. not until i feel that my love is worthless and cheap. that i'm so filthy lousy. so much for being confident.. i tend to belittle myself eh? ah. part and parcel of the virgo's.

love!

Break Me Apart.

some things were never meant to be done.
some things were never meant to be discovered.
some lives were meant to meet, others not.
some lovers lasted through all. some didnt make an hour.
some trusts arent meant to be taken for granted.
some hearts just get so lucky sometimes.
some truths just hurt so much, some just faze.

as much as i trust you. i hope you never do misuse it. corny or cheesy. its still the truth. its how i love you. the way you are. dont change the way it is. dont make me, lose you. dont make me, hate it. dont make me..

on a more positive note, today sucked. big time.

Keep It Shut.

sometimes, people just dont know when to shut the fuck up. sometimes people are so callous. so naggy. what attributes they take after from their moms. chips off the old blocks. how heredity is so prominent in our everyday lives. must you talk so much? huh? talk talk talk. crap crap crap. never ending train of bullshit. making friends and keeping friends 101: try to be sensitive. did your parents never teach you that? huh? dont be condescending. try not get whacked up by people? not that i have the capability in terms physically, but verbally, yes. DONT PUSH IT. really. count it that my patience tolerance is vast, lest me go bitching at you. yes, i'm a bitch. self proclaimed too. (: any problem with that?

and to think my day went well and fine. its amazing how sometimes i shove things aside just to ensure my day doesnt end in a slump. to salvage my already devastating situation. sigh. the things i do......i dont think i deserve such tumultuous eras in my sad sad life. so much for my memories. i dont know who goes through such shitty things in life. oh why am i really complaing about my life right? i have such a good life. such nice parents, everything at my feet. you think? you think just because i live at 6th avenue i have everything i want? you think i like it here? you think my life is perfect? that i should be envied? and that i shouldnt complain at all? you think i'm rich and i could buy almost everything? you think that status is everything? you think that everything is related. well, i'm not that superficial and shallow, bitches. stop stereotyping.

you know, i dont really know what i'm blogging about today. my mind is in a complete mess. its just kinda depressing and unnerving at the same time. i wana get my point accross, but i think the message isnt expressed anywhere near successful. i'm very confused. very fucked up. very unhappy over something. very pissed off over the same thing. and i'm also very jaded over another thing. very complacent towards something else. not exactly what i should want to be feeling now at all. half of those things are all bad.

its sunday today. great. i need to complete all my work. read through and understand the notes. finish tutorials and all that crap. how awesome. i am psyched. absolutely looking forward to starting later on. (: this is fully sarcastic. damn it. this is so unaccomplished.

Closer To Me Than Air.

its that time of the week where we all sigh and say "ah...finally, more sleep" again. and as my week culminates to a juncture, as we enter the weekends, i wonder to myself. What have i done towards the people around me and what have others done towards me? i realised then, that it wasnt much both ways. my impact on others, indeed isnt deeply imprinted. yet, others have failed to leave their mark on me either. depressing as it may sound, thats my life...incomplete.

and as i was walking home, i was thinking. what makes us "tick". this, happens to be a remnant in my memory about literature. i remember lit lessons where we talked about what made Macbeth "tick". goodness. but seriously. what makes us think so much, and to what extent do we think to? and then, why do we stop? what propels our thoughts further than others. why does paranoia make us so wary about everything? why do we even get paranoid? is it a "reflex action" which our minds subconsciously undergoes, to prepare for a likely fiasco?

well, let me just leave you with those rhetorical questions. with this, i shall end my post and start unwinding, hoping the weekends pass slowly.



Forgive, Sounds good.
Forget, I'm not sure i could.
--Not Ready To Make Nice - Dixie Chicks

Come On Over.

darlings!

school has been a slight torture. if not for the occasional laughter and jokes in between lectures, i would have perished before my lecturer. long long days and boring lectures are the perfect combination and prescription to death. i'm SO dramatic. i joined ambassadors today. dont know if i'll get through though. heh. anyway. week 2 and we're flooded with projects up to our eyeballs with quizes and assestments all lined up for next week and thereafter. loud sigh.

ever felt that you needed a reason to expect more in life? like what you have isnt sufficient? like there should be a bigger reason in your life? how do you get to that stage whereby you feel content both with yourself (because of what you are, who you are and where you are) and with everything around you? no, its not the same as a reason to live. its what's more to it. another footnote. i'm not depressed.

on another note, i watched The Superhero Movie. i didnt find the parody extremely hilarious. but it was slightly witty. lol. i like it actually. not too overdone. heh. and to add, Ashlee Simpson's next single, "Little Miss Obsessive" is gorgeous. (:

body language reflects a lot on a person. watch those signals you're sending, hunnaye.

Cold, Cold, Winter.

when you feel so cold. when you feel so insecure. when you feel so empty. when you feel so dead. when you feel so rejected. when you are so uninterested. when you're so unhappy. when you are so nonchalant.

do you ever get these sea of emotions that deluge, overflowing your cup once in a while? have you ever felt that your reason for living is that you dont have one? and that you should perish just to see the reactions of others? STOP IMAGINING PLEASE. life wont kill you for the sake of doing so.

Like the lecturer said. Murphy's Law. If anything can go wrong, it will. i dont know why it was related to business management, because my lecture was uber boring. still, it applies so why be so negative? if it does, it will! there's no point crying over spilt milk, sobbing away like an immature imp.

okay. i'm getting a bit over-reactive. probably because i injured my foot just now. kicked it against my bed frame. HOW DUMB. DONT AGREE WITH ME......anyhoots. i shall end off here. nothing left to say. I LOVE ASHLEE SIMPSON'S NEW ALBUM! ((:

It Was Meant To Be.

hey people.

i havent started with those 2 words in quite a while. anyways. just some thoughts running through my head. just felt the need to voice them, urgently.

do you ever think that our negativity, both unintentional and intentional, plays a part in our current situation? do you think that self pitying actually has a part to play in terms of our sadness? i think its all related. Being so pessimistic (myself included), i tend to lose focus on the happier things in life. no, there always are happier things in life. you're just focusing wrongly. dont focus on your problems, but on things that make your life brighter. be creative not in how to commit suicide, but on how to find a purpose in your life. do those around you matter at all to you? do they play a part in your life? really. is it worth it to give up what you have now, just for that very one reason when you could find so many more reasons to live?

this goes out to all those people who i heard had lost their loved ones earlier on in the day. cry over it. move on. dont linger and expect something or someone to come by, right back into your arms. sometimes, the hardest thing to do is to move on. but still, it must be done. to give up the thing you THINK is the best for you, but in reality, there are thousands out there that go above and beyond your expectations. its not up to me, but as a concerned friend, i dont want to lose any of you. if it makes a difference, I AM HERE FOR YOU. i love you. i dont make friends any-o-how. every friend i make, i treasure. you mean something to me. dont be silly and think with your left brain. suicide is NEVER an option. i would go to wherever you are to stop you from committing suicide if i had to.

alrights. i shall end here and not be naggy even more. Business Management class for 4 hours later. i should just quit school and start working. LOL. never.

Take Away Yesterday.

As the days pass by, you stare at me with greater disdain.
As the days go by, you inch closer. A feeling of retreat.
Dejected? Perhaps. Reflect upon oneself, you must.
As joy floods my heart, ease fills my mind.
As words become light images, restored withal.
As pain sears me away from it all, i urge in anguish.

Define what it was, is and will be.
Change the way i am, the way you are.
Anymore would be an under-requirement.
Voluble, Resentment, mixed together at once.
Troubled, yet sure of my expectancy*.

Refine, Undermine, Align - Get in line.
Coincidentally Cynical.

*expectancy does not equate my pregnancy. i dont know how that even happens to me..
dont get me wrong, i'm esctatic today. non-sarcastically. (:

Gone Bad.

Thats a consolation.
A phrase or two.
Makes me esctatic.
I entice more.
Play with me, on the row.

My Constant Worry.

Worry on all night
fear, sad, deject

Words not said, thoughts not voiced
Yet sometimes, estranged.

Mind so weak, heart so soft
Still, slightest bit, vulnerable.

Seemingly remained insinde
pushed beside, right outside.

Beyond The Line.

School sucked half and rocked half. i love my CATS teacher. old funny man. CATS class is the most alive of all my classes so far. i love my CATS class. ((: hate fridays though. I.S days suck. was in school by 8 for lessons. crazy. anyhoots. week one is over, and i'm looking forward to full swing lecture/tutorials next week. heh. probably the only one. oh and i bought 3 more textbooks. 97 bucks. daylight robbery. goodness.

i'm on a doze of antibiotics actually. not sure if anyone really knows. not important. i just wont be able to drink liquor of any sort. otherwise......hmmm. i dont really know what would happen but i dont think its good. heh. its gonna rain really heavily soon. seriously. i hear thunder outside like every few seconds. and that was entirely random. please dont take heed of it. heh.

not planning on doing much later on. probably catch ANTM and some old movies online or something. ironic, cuz i was looking forward to the weekends cuz its not so tiring. but i dont know, being cooped up at home makes me just as lethargic sometimes. oh, i love this song by Delta Goodrem entitled "Born To Try" i dont know if its an old or new song. but its awesome. (:

today, was disappointing. but whats in it for me? shrug it off, be happy, carpe diem for what it is. seeing you as it was, gave me a better reason to smile. (: oh, we're different. i just hope mentally, there isnt any stultification. sometimes, i feel like i'm begging for so much. its simply, you, for me. however, if i arent, break me as i am now.


make AND break,
i'll be here, even if i'm not yours.
------
put in all, arent it this way?
a hope, a phase, a caze.

Lost, Without You.

the post before this was my 100th entry on this blog. interesting though, cuz its been alive for only less than 5 months.

sickness plaguing the body. just as normal. tonsils are inflamed, hence, tonsillitis. goodness. sometimes i think i should've studied medicine or something. anyway. i think i'll have my tonsils removed.....no. truth is, i'm too scared to even take a blood test. what makes me think i can go for a surgery in a sane manner......

today was loving. the lecturers and all. and my love for QSS. and for you. and for everyone else. its like giving until there's nothing left to give. sometimes, i wonder if i've gone crazy. heh. but well, shy of saying this, crazy over you. (: cant wait for later. (: heh.

I.S tomorrow..eh. later starts at like 8am for goodness sake. i think i'll not recover from this half-affecting-me influenza. i was on the bus today, and i was watching some primary school kids. i was reminded of myself. chubby and blissfully ignorant. so truly innocent. sigh. all those young days *cough* all gone now arent they. haha. are you insane. i'd never miss my NERDY self. lol.

thats all for today!


p.s.: i didnt mean for today.
its all i want. presence. you.
i'm putting it all in.
really, begin.

Reach The Crunch.

school has been a whirlwind for me. things have been moving past pretty fast. interesting how some things unravel before you. even in the simplest of things. sometimes, those arent the best for you. Are they.....

anyways. lectures are officially boring. i'm thinking and starting to deliberate which ones i should skip, yet have attendence taken. seriously. lecturers/teachers who read off powerpoint slides should just go for oral communication classes because its impractical. am i even making sense? lol.

walking around in school is like walking in a maze where you'd bump into someone at the very next corner. its like "oh hi. what course are you in?" and then you move on and "hey! you're from HPPS arent you?" and then "oh. you look familiar. are you from queenstown sec?" and all these situations are kinda exciting. because evidently, i blogged more about it than i blogged about my lecture today. what crappy business management lecturers we have. i'm sorry to be so free and easy with my opinions. i didnt point any fingers. (:

tomorrow is gonna be hell. like seriously. 4 hours lecture. kill me.

its been a LONG LONG time where more than half of my entry was dedicated to school. so. lets move on with life. everything is moving quite slowly due to the fact that there's like school and yes, i really cant wait to reach the weekends sometimes. thats because school is kinda depressing, on contradiction to whatever i said above. lol. some things currently, i really cannot accept. its just like one whole strange dream. its not really what i want. yet, its still there. still present. still alive. (i'm SO dramatic) on a random note, whats melodramatic? i remember lit class. heh.

at the same time, i havent been talking to my close friends. weijin, johanna, shus, lona, aryani!, cheryl, delia. okay talked to kiewu a bit today in school. but still. he just was flaunting his laptop case. heh. tomorrow is QSS band thing. i'm kinda looking forward to it? cuz i really hope it wont like *touch wood* be a fiasco. lol.

today. was really fun. (: it might not have seemed so. like i didnt express anything. but really, i was happy. (: haha. now i know where i can go to commit suicide. heh. nahh. i wont do that, unless i have a good reason. hah. right. anyways. i've gotta hit the sack now. so thats all for now!

with love.

Startled Start.

hello people.

yesterday was the first day of school. turned out to be fine. met a couple of, i mean, many familiar faces. but nothing much to say. just one lecture. i realised i know many many many many kenneths. lemme count. like 6 or 7..? okay. not innumerable. but still.

later on today. school starts late. going for 1 lesson, again. workshop. fun. cant wait. i wana see my classmates. lol. how if they turn out to be horrible bastards?hmmm. i doubt so. like my mother always tells me. Be positive, dont be so pessimistic. but think about it. if we're always so optimisitc, we'll never plan for the times whereby we fail, do we? buying books, if not, just one book tomorrow and collecting the cursed EZ Link card. heh. so much for looking forward to school.

Many new songs. some relatively nice. Mariah Carey's "Bye Bye" is a nice track to keep, on your 'Repeat' list. and there's Danity Kane's "Bad Girl". its also a pretty fine song. Keri Hilson's "Get It Girl" is another okay track. Colbie Caillat's "The Little Things", like all her other songs, sound the same. but its still nice. (:

right. i shall end off here before i kill someone due to boredom. i want this week to fly past, fast. oh yeah. and just to add. if you intend to fuck me up, here; then go somewhere to fuck yourself up, first. my french neednt be excused.

loves!

Talk To Me.

hello people!

its been on my mind for a while. school. yeah. i'm one of those who dread the start of it. perhaps it isnt as bad as it would be, but currently, i'm not really inclined to think so. argh. anyway. hopefully this mentality would change in the following 2 weeks. heh. i know that as time passes by, things will change. and thats why i'm not fully compelled to make my opinions on everything heard. lol. okay. that was actually very vague.

was out with Aryani on friday, yes, speech day. pathetic 50 bucks of popular vouchers. lol. but rest assured, it will be fully utilised. ((: she lost her...wallet. lol. and then i sent her home after scouting around the bus interchange for the exact 111 bus. but, to no avail, so, she returned home and so did i. oh, yes, and finally met Rachel after ages. lets meet again soon alrights! study hard for year 2!

yesterday....my queen sized mattress (sp error?) came and finally, i have so much more space to laze. lol. i think i'll probably snooze really well tonight eh? hah. right. i'm sorry i'm so boring. hah. alrights. miss talking to Johanna! come online when i'm online alrights girl! (: way to go germany! ><

Ernest talked about this place on his blog. so i need not elaborate much. but it was really homely. its like really cosy and yet, in the whole place itself. in short, welcoming and warm. (: alrights. the past week, other than these stuff have been quite shitty. thats all!

lotsa love!

Words Of Meaning.

hey people. today's post will be short. full of cliff hangers. words to make you think. each of them are directed at different people. anyways, apologise for the lack of creativity. heh.

Search between.
Live within.
Strive with gleam.
Love, be seen.


Look around, search with faith.
There's always someone there for you.


Cry it loud, sob it out.
Shed no more, bled in awe.


Search within, be more keen.
Set ablaze, love that face. (:


Spirits up, let it start.
Trust it, love it, live it.

The Photo Frame

hey darlings.

NP's banking accountancy camp was okay. first day anyways. and well, you shouldnt expect much on the first day of everything. with this, all i can say is that it was kinda boring. and yes, second and third day should be more enjoyable. but sadly, i am not a camp person. i try my best-est to stay away from such events where you scream your lungs out to insult another group with manners and style. intruiging.



i'm sorry i'm a teeny weeny cynical. its kinda not intentional. tiring day alright. lol. anyways. i was watching American Idol just now, and i found Syesha's performance absolutely amazing. i really liked it. i think it was like almost pitched perfectly throughout so much so that you tend to focus less on the emotions more than the vocals. but here it is. i am in LOVE with it! (:

i caught up on some news. that Jessica Alba is having a baby girl, very soon! and i didnt really know that Chace Crawford and Carrie Underwood broke up, but now i know. how outdated am i? lol. Beyonce and Jay-Z got married too! wow. and its frustrating how the world is. there are speculations that the late Heath Ledger might have had a child with someone else. how absurd. please, he's GONE already... eurgh.

i happened to go blog surfing and found this song from Xenia's blog. its Orange County by Stefy. its a song that grows on you. i wouldnt be embedding it in here. so, just search it on youtube to hear the full length version. imeem cuts songs. frustrating.

alrights. i dont have much to say over here. i shall end off the post about now.



its you,
not school,
just us two.

Sad Song.

play it once, play it twice.
painful, princely, price.
Broken record sounds a tune,
worthless fog of fumes.
*read it this once, bleedin' out.


hey loves. i'm not gonna wait till tomorrow to blog, and so i'll just do it today. heh. right. anyways. as expected, today has been a very boring day. i kinda technically, stayed at home the whole day. stultifying. really. i'm starting to hate my home for what it is.

met up with Kathy. had an open talk with her. anyways. i'm not feeling in the bestest of moods (sorry weijin, i know i shouldnt be emo-ing) but its not by choice. so, i kinda watched the telly the whole day. trying to appease that screaming soul that is so bored. i chanced upon this series Last Comic Standing. i swear, they are so funny! okay. everyone has different sense of humours. so yeah. below are a few videos on them.

if you are easily offended, please do not watch them, lest you turn red in anger and offence. (: i particullary like Nikki Glaser. i adore her! she's just so funny. in this one, i like the shopaholic thing, and the pornography. lol. hilarious!




this one is where she talks about her name and all. omg. nique! hahaha. rahrs!



i wasnt able to get this embedded. but this is like the second MOST hilarious one! hahaha. if you dont know what a diaphragm is, its a heh. how do i explain. LOL. contraceptive device. am i right to say so? haha. ARGH. just watch it! hah.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=gSEaNd0NgYY&feature=related

and lastly, probably the finals or something. i LOVE the ending! omg. haha. she's like so GOOD! ((: hahaha.





alrightys. enough of videos like really. anyways. i also watched this show, The Dive From Clausen's Pier, which happens to be quite a nice movie. its really interesting. that girl is so familiar. i've seen her somewhere but i cant recall at this very second. heh. anyways. i also wana add. think about this. "Emotions - Logic = Faith". does that make quite a bit of sense. lol.


heh. something bothering me again. sigh. anywyas. i shalt end this post here because tomorrow is the freaking camp. i am so not looking forward to it. but what crap, its only like 5 hours luh. whatever right. urgh.

i should go sleep on my life problems. i feel fucked up, for lack of better expressions and words. what a major mood swing. sigh. bye.

Kiss Me.

Emotions running high
Water flowing swift
Heart beating twice
an echo of love


hey people.
bAoc orientation camp is from wednesday to friday. heh. some James Lim guy called me and told me about the whole thing. sounds boring, honestly. and besides, tuesday sounds hecticly tiring. i'm REALLY considering not attending the second day as well. and then, i'd be free on thursday. argh. i dont know. oh well. lets see how things go.

act like you mean it.
lip service doesnt convince.

i got my new specs like finally. i realised it still kinda looks a bit weird! haha. arghh. anyways. i dont care luh. i'm not gonna be on specs forever anyways. after 2 more months, i'll be back on disposables!! cant wait okay. irritates me as well.

rights. anyhoots. this song is a really nice song. (: i think its composed by a local. i'm not sure. correct me if i'm wrong. heh. Kelvin Fok, under the alias of Kelmo. so yeah. hah. hope the learning of the song dont kill you. dont kill yourself, please.









yesterday was an awkward day. i dont know why i felt like i have an unfulfilled agenda. i felt and feel something amis. like really strongly. yet, i have no idea what it is. arghh. it gets really irritating after a while. cuz you feel something bothering you! nevermind. shant complain. hah.


today is gonna be yet another boring day. argh. i'll deal with it, find something to hold myself up till i sleep early. well, i'm gonna get my lifestlye back. sleeping at unearthly hours has got to stop real soon anyway. get my biological clock back on path.

alrights. i think i'll end off here because i've got nothing interesting to talk about at the moment. (: take care.

love.

Those Angry Faces.

Cry, Sleep, Change.
Processes of growth through pain.
Live no more for one,
Live for one, another.


hey love.
the day passed by with my completing a few meagre, boring tasks. one of which was viewing my new lights in the kitchen. another was thinking about how my life has changed since i was 13. and yet another, deliberating the possibility of missing the business school orientation camp. heh. weird, sporadic, call it whatever you please. they all hold memories, if not, meanings that are linked to them, to each its own.

other important tasks was the sending of Weijin off to the airport. i felt like a part of me left me left with him. lol. anyways. met shus and weijin for lunch at holland. i miss shus and i'm glad we're talking a bit more again. ((: haha. its been ages since we last talked so much. caught up with aryani too! (: hahah. and yet, i still felt like my day held no climax to it. no turning point. its like i live life without a purpose.

right. anyways. SP students start school today. good luck people! (: heh. Mid years are coming for secondary school students. how intimidating!! haha. study hard alrightys! ooooh. QSS band is having a performance next thursday? and i'm like OKAYYYY. first time please. groundbreaking alrights! it holds a lot of meaning cuz for the last 47 years the school did nothing at all..duh and akin to the PROM, there will be one this year too! where? AT RTC. i opened the doors to the whole prom thing. (: i feel happy at least something i did took off. i never thought that being the head prefect made an impact on people much. so, i guess, the prom is significant enough. (:

Kathy and i were talking about people who start rumours. and we find that they lack self confidence and are attention seekers, seeking to set trends and gain popularity for their self centered opinions. okay. not that WE find it so, I do. in addition, sometimes they are way too jealous that others are different and that they are radical trend setters that take off, and because of their weak aspirations, they create tall stories that stir up dissentment amongst others, through these rumours. how selfish. sometimes, i wonder, are they mentally retarded that they are incapable of managing the simple, subconcious act of thinking NORMALLY. clearly, they cant do that. how sad. boohoo.

I like how i express my opinions on people. feel free to express yours about me, and leave it on my blog, somehow. go creative on it, dont be dull. next discussive topic? POSERS/POUSERS. (:

have an enjoyable day! (:

Love, Me.

hey people. i was like looking at Queensway's website, which has been a lot better refurbished (if i can even use it in this context) but anyways. i found the O level results page. and i was kinda blown away. here. have a look at it yourself. (: you notice that in the last 15 years, 2007 was the best year? when i saw that i was like "OMG. my batch did so well!" and i'm kinda proud that we performed so well. (: haha. we'll probably help the school gain its Value Added Award Gold for the year 2007. hah. anyways. i just feel pretty happy for Mdm Lim and Mrs Toh. besides, Speech Day is like around the corner, and hence, lets feel patriotic for a second. *mumbles a phrase of the school song*

right. i found this song entitled Heart Of The Matter by India.Arie. its a very nice song. if you watched Sex And The City's trailer, its that slow song in the middle. India.Arie is an African American with a very nice voice. i fell in love with the song and her voice. its so warm. it makes you feel like staying on a while longer.

Definitely,Maybe was a wonderfully boring yet sweet movie at the same time. i totally love Isla Fisher. i think she's gorgeous. (: btw, she acted in Wedding Crashers. thats why she looked so familiar to me. hah. righty. heh. this is kinda random. go watch it if you're into Ryan Reynolds or the other 3 women. lol.

Weijin leaves later. sending him off i suppose. today(considering today is Sunday) is gonna be an uber boring day. i think i would probably be stoning at home the whole day. i'm getting the horrid meaningless feeling again. argh. whatever.

i so feel like swearing my bordeom away, but i dont think i'll feel much better after it. so what the hell right. i think i'll end off here. yet another meaningless post. love!


---
its not the way you look at me,
its the way we used to be.
reaching out to you isn't that hard,
lets try again, lets not part.

The Matter.

As my ears picked up those hushed voices,
the undertones led me on.
The thinker arose and took lead.
An ending i will never know, myself.



hello loves!
today has been a rather simple yet fulfilling day. hah. i dyed my hair ash brown. its actually pretty nice. (: beats the long highlights which look like barcodes on an ugly draped head full of hair. so anyways. i like my colour now.

many things have been happening recently. life swirls at fast rates. good things. bad things. sad ones, joyous endings too. always remember, everything happens for a reason. things will turn better for you. what goes up, will come down and what comes down, will go up. hang in there. don't be defeated because of the mere happening to you. you will be fine. (:

School is starting soon. i don't really look forward to it. i'm feeling lazy. i'm SO not in the mood to make new friends in masses yet. i still feel jaded. i still feel a bit lost. unsure of what i'm doing on my own. arghh. anyways. 9 more days. faculty camp lasts from 9th-11th. am so looking foward dreading it. waste of time with everyone around me. maybe i should just got for like 1 day. lol.

Speech day comes too! hah. this one, i'm looking forward to it. i miss all my friends in school. ((: anyways. this post is slightly meaningless, but i hope it changes someone's mentality at least. lol. thank you for reading.

lots and lots of love!!

The Unknown.

hello darlings.


those droplets beat down upon humid singapore again. raining AGAIN. argh. the weather really spoils plans, ruins moods, creates restlessness - somehow. question me not. i hate rainy days. whether we like it or not, it just instills a lazy spirit in us, making us just wana laze around and do nothing.
furthermore, it rained so fast and heavy that it flooded the monsoon drain outside my house. second time in my entire 16 years of living in this house that it flooded. (:


anyways. its been a while since i watched horror. watched the hollywood remake of Shutter, and i think it wasnt scary. more often than not, fear comes with laughter. once you laugh it off, fear ceases to prevail. once its not taken that seriously, things change. somehow, it doesnt have its original impact. its becomes less intimidating and more eased. be it lighting, be it make-up, be it whoever you are with, be it place, time and sound. where am i bringing this point to?! lol.


anyways. went to town with weijin and cheryl today. i feel like life just gets so meaningless without people around you. i dont know how many people survive in seclusion. right. me expressing my innermost opinionated thoughts again. right. i should just stop. lol.


tomorrow i'mma collect something from esplanade. (: i really hope you'll like it. hah. sometimes, i wonder what is the esscence of it all. but then, i shrug it off and tell myself "why think so much when thinking doesnt change your destiny at all" so just dont think too much. i'm a thinker be it good or bad.. and sometimes, over sensitivity gets in the way of life. so, push it all aside eh? hah.


righty. loving this piece of music on Christina's blog by Yimura, entitled Kiss The Rain. well, if you think it sounds korean? it is because Yimura is half korean and british. anyways. thinking of playing it on the piano. but, dont know if i'm up to it.


lotsa love!!

Changed.

Hey look out, here comes the horrible feeling again.

Awesome-st overturn in my heart.

Dawns onto me the fact is,

there's nothing left.

- gone, away. 

Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love Live

OMG! it totally sounds like she's lip syncing, but no. she just has wonderful and absolutely powerful vocals! to think this was sung LIVE?! lol.

and, this video is like SO FREAKING CLEAR?! i'm like WOW. if ANTM was THIS clear, i would DIE!!!! hahaha

oh, and the backup singers, they are JUST PLAIN WEIRD with their movements. let this load. its high quality and awesome!

Bleeding Love Cover

hello everyone. this is a video by some woman who sings to Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis. what i find captivating about her is that she sounds awesome at the end. you can tell that she has a very good voice control, but she was just too controlled at the beginning, hence it sounded wavy. but i LOVE this. ((:

Confidence Is A Must, Happiness Is A Plus.

APRIL!

hey people. a new month. a new vision. i remember i forgot doing this for February and March. yes, April Fools day, and a very vivid nostalgic feeling overwhelms me when i think 1st April. oh well, the past is the past. lets carry on with our lives. This April, i hope that dark times turn brighter, that through this bleakness, i find happiness and joy enigmatically. even as i turn around and find life meaningless, still, i hope that i find truth in kins. i wish that as this month passes, may i find happier moments than those in March. well, eveything is about me. lets talk about others. Birthdays this month! relatively few, and not really close. but major movements. Weijin leaves again, Speech Day comes, Poly starts. really expecting a lot of change anyway. right lets move on.

ARGH, an annoying beetle is buzzing around. stupid THING. arghh. anyways. i'm currently loving this song i just posted up. Take A Bow. its also by Leona Lewis. i think it'll be her third official single she'll release (consider Footprints in the sand and Better in time as one single).

i am really looking forward to my contacts (lenses) being done. i cant really bear this reflective pair of specs. its also, very annoying. arghh. i'm having one of those moments where i find life miserable. so i guess this my que to stop blogging over here. i miss a lot of people in my life. Shu Ya! i really miss you, honestly. busy girl with studies and with your life. its so hard to breathe for a second, to catch up with those we left behind.

okay. thats all for today! (:

F: 01.04 - 567
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