Loving Me Right.

Love. that common word we hear. that common word we use. what IS love? when does love really exist? under what circumstances are we considered loving? are there restrictions to love? are there prerequisites, criteria to be met? can you answer these? well, think about it now if you cant.

of all topics, i chose love. of all things i talked about this stereotyped feminine topic which conjures up images of romance and sex what not. but really. what does a relationship encompass? is it just the people in it? or the happiness they have with each other, including the joy and ease they feel? or is it the occasional meetings and countless phone conversations with trust already provided before it all? or perhaps, its just the people in it that murmur those sweet nothings which make it seem so strong and loving. what is yours?
my personal idea of love isnt at all complicated. my idea of love is really simple. being happy together whereby both people provide and are there for each other no matter, whatever, whenever and forever. its about them. its not about the people around. its not about how they wana be more dominant in it. its not how they pose themselves as the best for each other. but its when they are there for each other without exceptions. and it is understood that trust is functional without mention.

i once heard. Love is being the best you can, for that very particular person. its being the best you can be just for them. are you loving right? are you loving differently? if your boyfriends or girlfriends were to disappoint you by insulting you, will you get offended and get angry? or will you be more disappointed? if you were to go home today and get a phone call that your very special someone met an accident, would you breakdown and cry for them? or would you go to the hospital to share the pain with them? there arent no wrong or right. just ask yourself which you'd do.
i never expect much from it. i never expect a relationship to last for 10 years and finally, you get married and live happily. that isnt a fairytale. no, i dont believe in fairy-tales either. they were meant to feed innocent minds with joy and happiness. our world isnt so kind. betrayal, cheating, racism, sexism, ageism, vile deeds are committed daily. we are a cursed bunch. so why do more hurt to the person you love? why give them such a hard time when you can love them happily. strive for it, dont be it. there arent no fairy-tales, but make it one, you can.

its only if you're willing to take that very first step, to sacrifice a bit of yourself and how you are, to change - for your loved one. knowing full well that being with them is a big risk you'd take to be happy and content to be with. if thats not love, what really is?
looking back at what i've done, what i've said, what i've gone through. i hope for more out of it. but all i can do, is learn from it. make the best of what i have now, apply it into my life. making my love more worth it. being there for the special someone, for as long as i can.

but i did say this before. you never do really know what happens. so treasure what you have now. treasure your loved ones. love is kind, and understanding, patient and warm. be all that you can be to that very special people in your life. things like this comes only once in a lifetime. seize what you have now. please.
LOVE me, for who I am.

Treasured.

hello people.
i'm blogging late again.

so anyways. today was a rather weird day. it just started out weird and ended weird. honestly, i didnt wana do anything today. i just wanted to laze around and just sleep and watch tv and stuff that makes your day so boring and mundane. however, i so inadvertently managed to go out with Weijin and Ilona. the 2 of my secondary school besties. (i know, i sound bimbotic/twit) but anyways. thats not the important thing. lol.

so we just hung out. and......i got my HAIR CUT! omg. i've got short hair now. heh. okay luh. its not THAT short... like anyone could get used to it. its just now wax-able. hah. and its now spike-able. yeaps. so i'm sporting a new look. but my specs really have to go. REALLY. eurgh. okay. moving on, we watched 21. it was a good movie. alright. i really do wana watch Wanted. so yeah. still waiting for someone to ask me out. ((:

right. school starts at 9 tomorrow, and i really am jaded about the idea of it. i am so sickened and turned off by the thought of doing econs at 9am tomorrow.*rolls eyes and pretends to die* so yeah. i'm getting pretty irritated by it (I DONT KNOW WHY! EURGH!) so yeaps. okay. i'm really ranting here today.

i'm gonna end off here. err. and yeah. i love the pic i put today. its really beautiful.
lotsa love!


*
they used to say, carpe diem.
as if treasuring me today is key,
as i may not last tomorrow
*

Loveletter Lie.

hello darlings!
i'm being slightly moodless now. but dont assume that today was bad. it was good. just really dis-satisfied? is it spelt that way? or is it unsatisfied? oh whichever, i'm just NOT feeling very content somehow. i dont know whats not there, whats missing. heh. anyways. the above pic are actually eggs. i got the idea of putting this picture from a book i saw. (:

didnt blog yesterday and i'm doing a very late post now. so.. well. things just happened. in a second my weekend is coming to an end. maybe thats why i'm not content, dis-satisfied. lol. because i know school's gonna start again. and i know the work's gonna pile on. and i'm not ready for it. sigh. ):

anyways. as for the songs. i'm gonna put 2 here today. i'm really lazy so, yeah. hah. anyways firstly, i wana put down the song by The Pussycat Dolls. yeah i did talk about it at the beginning of my previous post. so anyways, "When I Grow Up" is the song, i'm sure many people have heard this one. its kinda nice after a while. really does grow on you. hah. i do like it quite a fair bit. (:



next would be a new single by Jessica Simpson. hah. she is coming out with a country album. i dont know why? but seriously, the song's not that bad. or maybe its because i used to like Jessica a lot previously. anyhoo, the song is entitled "Come On Over". so here it is on youtube (cuz imeem doesnt have it?)



alrights. so thats the end of music sharing session. lol. i am so jaded now. i'm gonna end off here. probably meeting Weijin and Lona tomorrow. idk. see how it is.

lotsa love!

When I Grow Up.

You know that new song by the Pussuycat Dolls, "When I Grow Up"? well, they talked about being on MTV, on magazines, wana be in movies, drive nice cars, blarh blarh? ha. i was thinking. what do i really wana be when I grow up? hmmm. i mean, not just those superficial thoughts of ambitions or occupations. but what good do you wana do? what do you wana leave an impact on? what do you wana contribute to this world? i talked to Ms Buganeish today. she graduated with a degree in Economics, and she could easily get another job and not be a civil servant. but seriously, she does it to impact and mold people. thats what she wants to do. impact and 'save' a life. but what do YOU wana do? how are you gonna change the world in your own special way, leaving a mark for yourself? are you gonna be happy with the result? well, for sure, i'm just gonna work hard for now!

garrhs. as promised in the previous post, i shall put some of the really nice songs here for you to take a listen. i'll do 4 today and perhaps the rest some other time. (: First of all would be Katy Perry's "Hot N Cold". Katy Perry is really awesome! (: even Madonna recognizes that. heh. anyways i couldnt find the track in imeem, so here it is as a video, on youtube. (:



next would be Missy Higgins song entitled "Steer". Missy Higgins is an Australian singer and she wrote the song "Scar" which was a big hit a long time ago. this is a nice song as well. i love it.



And then, we have Demi Lovato featuring Joe Jonas from the Disney movie, Camp Rock! The song's entitled "This Is Me" its an awesome track as well. this is a song you probably cant go wrong with. heh.



and lastly, but not the least, Marie Digby. Well yes, her first single which was "Say It Again" was probably just mediocre to some people. but really, she's a very talented singer. and i love her songs. here is another track entitled "Stupid For You". this is the album track itself, but its in a video, so yeah. let it load! enjoy it!



anyways. other than music, i also got my testimonial back from Queensway too! hah. my goodness, we waited like 7 months for a booklet with 4 pages in it. *rolls eyes*. seriously, stupid or what. lol. anyways. i read my testimonial (: i'm happy with mrs toh. but she could've written more luh. silly her. hahahah. oh well. anyways some news, Mdm Sim is retiring on Monday. she's been a great form teacher to me in sec1, and has been a wonderful chem teacher in upper sec. (: ALL THE BEST TO HER!! even though she probably doesnt know what a blog is, lest mine. lol.

i bumped into Constance and Edward in town today. shocking for the latter. i mean, wow. he's tall-er. and has this super strong American accent. heh. (at least i think). saw Ilona too, with her SA friends, and Weiqi. goodness, town has become yet another NP. rahrs.

goodness, tennis tomorrow at 8am. its friggin early please?! eurghs! anyways. i'm gonna end off here. so thats all for now!

lotsa love!

Tedious Translations.

ever looked down a road and wondered where it would take you to? ever wondered where you'd end up after all the pain and trouble you went through? and when the circumstances change, will it still lead you to the same destination?

school today sucked. 4 hours of management lessons,again. thank goodness i left halfway during lecture. (: went to the canteen to eat. heh. oh well, i'll just diligently read the lecture slides given over MeL sometime. afterall, it doesnt really make a huge difference attending and not attending lecture for this module. really.

tomorrow's a long long day. i'm so not looking forward to it. but oh well. i downloaded a few songs over the last few days. some really nice. (: i'll blog about them here tomorrow. i'm getting tired as it is now. so yeaps. thats all for today!

lotsa love!

Have You Ever?

just looking at that picture above. what do you see? do you see a curtain of bleak, but a slight tint of reassurance? or you do see beauty in a enigmatic manner..? or perhaps, you see dullness, sadness and worry? well, thats exactly what i see - for today.



i've been listening to old songs. songs that really did remind me of what i've done in my past. things that i held so dear to my heart. things that affected my ever emotion in the past. now, looking back at it all, i just sympathise with myself about how stupid i became. i should've been so much smarter in life. but no, i had to be this slow. its not that i'm stupid to be like this today. but more of how i could've been more different.

sometimes i wonder what is it that made me who i am today. what is the esscence of this facade - marcus. who is the one who is me. what makes me? what is it that people find attractive or that they dislike about me? what IS my personality? what really defines how i do things, what i do? what defines ME? have you ever questioned yourself like that? well i did today.

anyway. something really did get me thinking today. its not bad. its just a shaking up. i used to have everything laid before me. i used to be pampered like the son of a king or whatnot. but now, i'm changed, and i'm glad i am. i'm happy it is this way anyway. i dont like taking things for granted. but i miss the past. i miss how i'd be blissfully happy. i mean, its hard to do that now. really. i'm just really hoping for that day to come. (:

alrights. got my ITB project back. ((: i'm glad to say that i got an A! ha. really really happy beacuse i spent HOURS doing that project. sigh. well, PBL part 2's up. the website design. and then after, the database design. *faints* alrights. gonna end off here.

lotsa love! (:

don't, no more.
i miss your love in every way

Lethargic Lessons.

school is currently in session. and its getting really boring really. i'm having accounting. the ever so fun accounting lessons. ((: anyways. today we got back 2 results already. i didnt do really well for econs. i only got like 30/50. and for ITB i did quite well. got 72/100. lol considering that i didnt exactly study very hard for it. lol. anyways. i really must start studying already. however, even though i didnt do as well as Kiewu for POA, i got 80/100 thought.

Lindsay Lohan has come out with her new single already. its entitled "Bossy" written by Ne-Yo. heh. its an okay song. not fabulous or anything. its danceable. but i prefer Lindsay doing soul. this is kinda like "Rumours" heh. anyways. i downloaded many new songs yesterday. lots of nice ones. some by Missy Higgins, Demi Lovato, Kate Voegele, Terra Naomi, and Marie Digby. (:

i'm jaded about something. i dont know what. its just kinda sick. or maybe its just the anticipation of something. lol. i dont know what it is about. why i'm having this awkward feeling but its just is happening. as awkward as it is. oh mann, this is so meaningless. garrrhs. i'll blog about this later. when i get home after my LONG LONG day.

lotsa love!

Dreadful Days.

hey darlings.

its a sunday evening and its become really tiring for me. dont ask why. okay fine. its just how horrible a feeling it is to open MeL to find out all your lecture slides all prepared for you (: the lecturers are sure very nice. a very timely gift. heh.

goodness. the following week's gonna be hell for me. and well., technically, the weeks after that as well because of how i think its gonna suck. like projects and all. eurgh. Business Management project is like due next month, and ITB PBL 2 is already coming on full force. i think i would need to take the ITB re-test. seriously. oh yeah! CT results also come out tomorrow. HOW DELIGHTFUL! (:

garrrhs. anyways. to reiterate if i've not done enough already, i am so dreading school. i mean, i didnt even get a chance to go overseas this 'holidays' and i'm feeling pathetic as it is. furthermore, we're looking at 2 months of STUDYING. OMG PLEASE. *dies*

i apologise henceforth for ranting and complaining about school. but really, its not as if anyone really bothers? right? lol. i dont know who reads my blog nowadays. its so infrequently viewed by people sometimes i think i should just go back to livejournal where i could post privately and more straighforward. gosh. *grumbles for a few more minutes*

okays. i'm gonna end off my boring horrid post here. take care darlings!
Lotsa love!

You And Me.

i'm not in the best of moods. i always give such a disclaimer when i'm feeling unstable. oh screw it. i'm just really negative about stuff now. maybe its self pity. maybe its just a realization of how effed up a situation i've walked mysef into. maybe its just about time for me to worry about myself.

today's post aint gonna be interesting at all. its gonna be me ranting. did you ever walk to the end of a journey and wonder if you could've done something to change your preppy situation you found yourself in the end? do you wish that you'd have ended up differently? what went wrong sometimes you ask. but think about it. is it what YOU did that went wrong or is it how the cirucmstances made you choose based not on choice, but on force. were there even any options?

sometimes i think about how i've made my bed, and now that i've gotta lay in it; i hope that its not the last thing i can have because i'm so very expectant of results. that something evolve from it. its not just simplicity. its not just that alone. its like how sometimes you take the brunt for your friends telling yourself its okay. its just once. but then it occurs over and over again until it becomes more of a responsibility of yours. that kinda expectancy your friends derive from you. its not so simple that you could just STOP doing it. no.

and now that things may turn for the better. does it really mean so? how sometimes it may appear as that so innocent flower with tender white freshly budded petals, but underneath are thorns of serpented traps which you may not see because of blindness - which you so obliviously seem to misinterpret. but you know, as abovementioned, its your responsibility. taking charge of everything is quite a feat. a task fit for capable adults. sad to say, i dont think i've reached that criteria just yet, dear.

perhaps i've been a disappointment. to me. i disappointed myself. i expect so much from me. sometimes i think its not enough to just be "okay". its not enough to just be "fine". i'm a selective perfectionist by nature of who i am. its not in my choice to be or not to. its just me. how i am.

i've run out of words. pretend this wasnt blogged. it shouldnt even be on this blog.
love.

Idiosyncrasies.

hey loves.


first and foremost, the pictures i edited the other day are peppered between my paragraphs. i dont know if you can tell (no, you probably cant tell) that they were taken at Vivocity. so anyways. thats that.


ahh. i dont know what i should blog about today. really. i'm kinda at a loss of words. which is really rare because i'm usually really voluble. anyhoots, i started my Business Management project today with Wenquan, Jamie and Brandon. its a blind-lead-the-blind situation. ask me what are the external stakeholders and i'm like "what?" and all i know is that there is some task force or something. lol!


eurgh. school's starting really soon. and i've yet to 'condition' myself for it, goodness. i'm not exactly looking forward to it? knowing fully well in advance that at the end of 7 weeks, i've got my end of sem exams to sit for? its really comforting you know. not that i need to say, but that was sarcastic(:


i was thinking about my future. where will i be in say...10 years time? after i graduate from poly and after dreadfu lNS?(thats in 5 years) and after maybe University, where will i be? will i still be in singapore? would i have found an ideal job? i dont know. life is really unkind sometimes. with so many pitfalls, its hard to even foresee or project your prospects in life. oh well, no use going around blaming life. its never fair. nothing is.


oh mann. sounds like this is heading down. depressing. dont get me wrong! i'm not depressed at all. haha. anyways. Ambassadors thing. its a powerpoint heh. i'm working on my ppt now! heh. its kinda awkward cuz i dont have lots of pictures of the school yet. i think i'll go to school on monday and just randomly take pictures! heh. whatever. i'm so full of nonsense!!

okay. shall end off here. take care darlings!

Repatriate.

hey darlings.

yesterday was quite a long day. well technically, that isnt correct because i awoke at 12 noon. so half the day was gone. but dont blame me. i was awake for the same reason why i'm awake now - to finish unfinished stuff. anyways yesterday was really cool. took my cam out on its virgin trip. (: yay. took pictures but i dont have the energy and mood to edit them now. so. yeah.

movies are flooding cinemas soon. first on the list to watch is "Get Smart" which features Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway. i love them. (: and next on the list is "21". 21 is some gambling game i think. cool stuff. and following that would be... "Wanted". its a film that features the all time sexy Angelina Jolie. its wonderful really. i saw the trailer. cool stuff there as well.

i just downloaded Mozilla Firefox 3! its nothing special. its the same thing. but i like some new stuff about it. (: GO DOWNLOAD IT TODAY! (: heh. i love this song by Regina Spektor. It came off the film "The Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian". yes, the song at the end. its so nice. (: its entitled "The Call". below is the video/song. play it, its lovely. (:



alrights. i'm gonna end off here. but i wana put something here because i saw it when i was browsing online. so here it is. something about the Earth...well, other stuff about the earth. Super-earth. heh. go read. kinda interesting. here it is:
Click here

lotsa love!

Disturbia.

Rihanna has a new song. its entitled "Disturbia"and i think its the next single off her re-released album: Good Girl Gone Bad: Reloaded or something uh. haha. anyways. its a relatively nice song. if you like it, you like it. you know, i dont know what i'm talking about. i'm quite irrelevant and very ironic. lol. anyways. here it is. its only a 30 sec clip sorry. heh.



people from my group during Ambs Camp, below is the link to TNB Camp. do pass it forward to all the people from our group alrightys. (: thank you. i'm lazy to encode it, so i'm just gonna dump the whole thing here. haha. thanks!

http://s19.photobucket.com/albums/b174/marcusklz/TNB%202008/

alrightys. i shall end my post. oh, one last thing. i finally watched Kung Fu Panda with Weijin. and it was...interesting. lol. it was funny, kiddish-ly. but it became a bit boring honestly. anyways. its still rather alright. i wanted to watch Narnia. i mean, who hasnt watched it? ME DUH.. sigh. okays. thats all.

lotsa love!

Worth My Love.

hey people!

its been about 2 days since i last blogged. yes, was away at Ambassador's TNB Camp and me here, obviously means that its over luh duh. lol. anyhoots. i'm not gonna go into detail, except it was a ton of fun!! (it rhymes btw.) anyways. the pictures that were taken with my camera would be uploaded onto an online host website latest by tomorrow! so do check back for more information. Below are 2 pics. The flower/candle was taken during Black Tie, and the second, my group! 2!!!
here hee there hah. i dont know how i came up with those 4 words, but still. i just found this song by Mary J Blige. its entitled "Stay Down". i think its really nice. the lyrics ought to be given a good listen. well, if you liked "Be Without You", its probably nowhere compared to this, but Stay Down is a good track indeed. After all, Mary J Blige is wonnnnderful!!



alrights. i shall end off here since i've got like nothing to blog about.
lotsa love!

Dior, Chanel, Prada.

Brand consciousness!! its something that many of us conform to. well. honestly speaking, branded goods aren't always good in quality. and its not entirely bad to be brand conscious. unless you get controlled by it luh! but i just felt like talking about some stuff about them today. i mean, everyone has done this post at least once (okay, at least those who go for brands). well. sometimes, as singaporeans especially, we cheapen things. really, i'm not exaggerating or pin-pointing fingers at anyone. but who would wear a dri-fit tee with prada shoes? okay. thats extreme. but somehow, singaporeans arent always good at dressing up. if you arent sure, dont do it. dont be bold! but no.... they just simply pick any pair of shoes and a simply ugly berms and wear an agnes b top. yikes no? well. thats what i saw. and it was awkward. anyways. this is why the title of this post are 3 branded names. 2 of which are....for women exclusively. moving on..

okay. my sensible topic wasnt the above btw. lol. it is supposed to be something else. hah. anyways. camp is soon. err...in a few hours. and my throat persists to be a pain. stubborn as hell. i also do have this nauseated feeling once in a while. like i wana puke? sigh. i think i'm dying. LOL. nahh. kidding. when i die, the world would surely know about it. because everyone would notice my absence. HAH. what bullcrap. heh. anyhoots. i wont be blogging for a while i guess? unless i somehow miraculously access Internet there. heh.

Lona celebrated her birthday at Seoul Garden yesterday. it was good. missed being with her and all. Sara was there too. laughed my as* off with her. hah. I MISS SARA! and obviously LONA! (: anyhows. we should meet up one day alright! ha. anyways. uploaded a pic of East Coast below. had fun 2 days ago. yep. (: so i shalt end this where it is. (:

bittersweet lullaby
passing paranoid period.

All Dressed In Love.

hello darlings. yesterday was..well....tiring. anyways. in short. yesterday was sheer fun. you know how sometimes fun stuff become really tiring? even though my voice is still pathetically hoarse. hah.

well, for later.. will be going to buy some stuff for Ambass's camp taking place this thursday - Saturday! meeting Kie Wu in town and proceeding to meet Ilona and some others for her birthday dinner. i think? haha. well. that reminds me. since today is ILONA'S BIRTHDAY! i wana wish her a very happy happy 17th! girl! you're all grown up now. study hard in SA please! and never give up on your dreams alright. i cant wait to see you later!

oh yeah. Kiewu has come back from Bali. *tsktsk* had fun right kie! ha. oh mann. (i repeat!!!) i soooo need a getaway! a holiday! *heaves a huge audible sigh* alrights. i'm gonna end of my post here. before it gets all boring. i still remember. my sensible topic. not yet. hahaha.

the bells sounded. they reverberated throughout.
my ears translated it. a shrill. pains to my heart.

Regress.

hey people!

its almost a new day. so lemme do this real quick. ha. today's' outlines were rather fun-filled. very tiring of course. did i mention that i was going on a shopping trip with Delia and Weijin? anyways it went really well. i mean, dont expect me to go to Bugis, but i did. really. i mean delia and jin were like so so so shocked. but anyways. i dont always live up to my standards. i do let my guard down once in a while (: heh. anyways met Shu Ya for dinner at Fish&Co. and both of them (wj and shus) proceeded to my house to watch..... OVER HER DEAD BODY! whee! anyways. hope that they had fun today!

right-o. went to school early this morning too. slept about 3 hours actually. was so so drowsy. very reluctant to go initially. but it turned out really good. got to know the Ambassadors. it was so so fun (: yay! right. anyhoots. my group is kinda...interesting. i'm sure we're gonna be having loaaads of fun together! (: whee. kinda looking forward to the camp yeah. fabuuuulous!!

i've lost my voice as a result of lack of sleep and very poor health supplementation. and i'm really piling up on them now. so i hope i will regain my voice by tomorrow. i feel so miserable without it. ); ahah. anyways. i've kinda run out of things to say. i'm feeling kinda a need to blog about something very...sensible tomorrow. i will try. (: haha.

lotsa love!!

Close Your Heart.

Neglect. its something we always do. to friends, or sometimes those more than that. in our every day lives. neglecting people isnt a very uncommon situation. be it in a group of friends, or your best-st of best friends. we always tend to miss out a few jewels in the sand. and yet, when people get into relationships, some of them tend to neglect their good friends. needless to say their friends in general. is this human nature so flawed? why are we like this? arent we supposed to treasure those around us? and yet, we take for granted what they offer. ironic.

sometimes i ask myself. things in life are so contradictory. why is it that there are things that can go all ways but some cant. i mean think it this way. would you find a cold bowl of double-boiled soup? how does that even happen? i mean, if its double boiled, its gonna be piping hot. and yet, why is it that we can be so devastated over something, but feel joy at the end of it all? why is it that we can not be happy throughout the journey. but just because of a little smile at the end, we feel so warm and fuzzy. what is it about life that we're misreading?

sometimes, people really take you for granted. sometimes i'm really tempted to know what the world woul've been without me. not that it might've been superb without or it would've been a mess without me. but i wana know. of what importance am i to the world. to you. my friends. i dont know what it is. but i'm feeling very out-of-body these days. i'm thinking in third person's perspectives and the second person. and these 3 viewpoints just are so different. i feel really confused.

my day, kinda ruined. again. perfect.
nothing more to say.

The Transaction.

hey darlings.

today. been rather dead today. not much going on. anyways. i picked weijin up at the airport. only me. haha. yeah. his flight was delayed an hour. so i was wondering around aimlessly and got a spinelli to down while i waited. ha. anyways. i'm at weijin's place now. and no, i edited the time again. its not 11.59PM its 2.10AM heh.

right. anyways. its already late and i'm probably gonna go home soooon! ha. right. i know this post is kinda boring. and i apologise. i actually intended to do a thinking post. its about life and its contradictions. oh well. i'll do it next time then!

take care! lotsa love!

Labels Or Love

hello dears!

its actually 3.54am, Saturday now, not 11.59pm on a Friday. hah. anyways i didnt have time to blog earlier on, so hence, i'm doing it now. anyways. i searched for videos today by a few of my favourite singers. and i found this one. from Beyonce. LISTEN! i mean, thats the song dudes. (: heh. anyways. its a verrry good live version! i find it amazing!



'today' many things happened. i went for my dental. routinely. and NO, i still have my braces on. they're not out yet. i TOLD you my orthodontist would make me somehow suffer more! and indeed he did. he made me do the rubber bands! eurgh. its so hard to eat now. open too big, *snap*! its a pain luh!

i watched Sex And The City just now. ahiya who cares if its M18. lol. it was FABULOUS!!!! it was like the best movie i've watched in the last...2 months to be safe! it was fantastic. oh my. it was fantastic because of the labels AND the love that came with it. the love, however, was more touching and sad. it was so dramatic til i teared *awww*. another plus, it was witty! (: so here's leaving you with the movie poster!

weijin comes back TOMORROW(or rather, later)! yippie! kiewu flies off later too! okays. thats all for now.
lotsa love!

Requim

hey darlings!

a brand new day, a brand new me. i dont know what i'm talking about you know, but never mind because i edited a picture! okay. 2. this was taken during one of my study night sessions for my common tests. i found a breezer bottle somewhere and started snapping pictures. yeaps! and i edited 2. one reddish glowing and the other one..well i dont know how to describe it! ha.



i love Katharine McPhee's song "Ordinary World". i think its wonderful. in fact, i find it kinda similar to Josh Groban's single "Don't Give Up". anyways. since her song isnt even a single, i wasnt able to find a track online. but do go to youtube or something to give it a listen if you can find it (: hah. oh anyways. i cut, or rather, trimmed my hair. so its shortER now! haha. not short. just a slight trim. (: hahaha.



trust. a word we tend to overlook its very simple definition. what do you mean when you trust? do you mean that you're putting all your faith in another person? or do you mean you simply just believe them. to what extents do you believe then? is it tangible at all? surely trust isnt gained overnight. but can people even gain trust? how is it done? think of just one method which trust can be gained and hence measured against as truthful. is there a template? a model to even compare with? do we compare how trust is gained with what we have experienced? hmmm. honestly and truthfully, trust isnt this simple veil and excuse we chug out when we're at a loss. its about everything. nothing else but what it brings along with it. here's another thought. is love ever interlinked with trust? can trust be blinded by love? hmmm. questions that i havent been churning out in a long long time.

anyways. i shall end off here. kiewu is flying off. weijin arrives the day after tomorrow. psyched!

DragDolls.

hey people.
i'm currently listening to Danity Kane's new album, Welcome To The Dollhouse. there are 16 tracks! ha. its actually not that bad. but i'm not really with them on their new genre. i mean, anything with diddy in it is gonna be unexpected. this, is very good material. but not my cuppa tea. i'm sure you've heard "Damaged", "Bad Girl" and "Lights Out". "Poetry" is good. and so is "Sucka For Love" and finally, "Strip Tease". heh.

i'm also gonna give Hard Candy a browse through, and the long awaited Jordin Sparks album. i'm also trying to get Katherine McPhee's album. yeah. i know, they were out quite long already, but its better late than never aye? hoping to hear Usher's new album too. ha. Anyways, Mariah Carey's new single is "I'm That Chick". its a little different from Bye Bye and Touch My Body. but its not bad either. (: Currently hooked onto Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl". oooh-la-la sexy! haha.

okay. enough of music! haha. today's ITB paper didnt such THAT bad. but it did. i didnt know how to explain Operating System. goodness. its so dumb! haha. anyways. tests are over. finally. *heaves a sigh of relief* hah. anyways. next week's gonna be packed busy. haha. yeah.

Weijin comes back this Saturday! hah. YAY! whee. i'm so happy that he's finally come back. and before i forget. there are 2 very important birthdays! SHU YA!!! or rather, SHUS! you're turning 17 tomorrow dearest! thats in like about half an hour's time dear! (: i wana wish you all the best in everything you do. study hard in JC! dont confrom to their culture ><

WEIJIN! your birthday's on the the 6th of June! hah. you're coming back on the 7th! ha. i wana wish you that you have a fulfilling 17. complete your studies overseas, come back and be a great friend. just so you know, no one has replaced you in my life. ((: hahaha. thanks and Happy Birthday!

i dont think there's much fulfilling in my life these few days, so i shall do some soul searching. hopefully i'll find myself somewhere in the dumps along the streets. hmm.

Benign

Microeconomics didnt suck that bad, but it was tricky. tricky till the extent it alsmost became very tough. i dont even know why i'm narrating my evaluation on the paper when i have a freaking ITB test tomorrow. 200 pages of textbook to read, 4 sets of lecture notes and an online iN2015 thing to study. i just looked through my lecture slides and i'm going bonkers.

yes. it is true that we need to know what a computer is. that it is a digital electronics device which combines hardware and software to accept data inputs, processes and sotres the data, and then produces useful outputs! that simple right! and then you need to know what are the five functional areas in which computers assist us, the four primary types of information systems. what is information security. what is a file, a server, a hardware and software. oh my goodness. is it me? or do i already know that i'm gonna flunk this.

i dont know why the negativity. its not on my part. seriously. who studies and memorises terms like that? and i thought poly wasnt about comitting to memory. but as of now, i kinda do think its essential. we're gonna remember everything till it becomes second nature. what does this have to do with business, really! its not like we need to know the definiton of a computer to do business! we know what we know. thats all. period.

i know i'm ranting. i cant help it. and besides, this disposition is kinda dead anyway. everyone's studying for tests while i sit in my room staring at a laptop screen while my fingers type this out. intruiging. i cant wait till its over tomorrow. its so depressing and i shall end my rant here.


right. i watched this movie the other day. Its titled The Nanny Diaries and stars Scarlet Johansson and Chris Evans. you'd probably remember Scarlet from Scoop and Lost In Translation and Chris Evans from Fantastic 4. alright. i know that overall in cinemas it didnt gross a lot of views, but i felt it was an extremely good movie. picking on the upper crust of society and their discriminations. i felt it was very just. (: i loved it, and i advice you to watch it! borrow the DVD sometime yes! hah. oh btw, it was written as a novel first. thats a plus point. you cant go very wrong with award winning novels.(:

oh i'm sure you know, Yves Saint Laurent passed away aye? how sad. he was 71. still full of talent at that ripe old age though. anyways. all respect to the old man. just reminded me of how Versace found its way into the hands of Donatella because he got assasinated. heh.

anyway. i dont have much to say anymore. sorry to be such a bother. shall end off here!

Crave Fantasy.

sometimes i say things i might forget,
do things i might just regret.

i dont know if i was the one who said that, but it sounds so awfully familiar. anyways. my day was attirubuted to studying. or rather, mugging i would say. mugging for Microeconomics common test which is tomorrow. i am proud to say that i've finished up to elasticity. ><>one more topic to go Marcus! and you can forget about studying for ITB tomorrow morning! hah. i'm screwed. downright screwed.

Goodbye Alice In Wonderland by Jewel was where the title came about. its a song i used to find so cute. just laugh at it. i love Jewel's voice. and in this song. its happy and sad at the same time. peculiar really. anyways. i couldnt find the song on imeem. pathetic >< i found a clip on youtube and its below as you can see.... its not the best quality, and it loads slowly, but watch it and listen to it. (:



i know i wanted to blog about an interesting topic today. but i have kinda lost it. i dont know what i wanted to blog about. ha. anyways. i'm gonna get back to studying for the stupid tests.

oh mann. just a sudden thought! i just wana getaway! i just wana get lost in time, *depicts a green, lush forest and sunlight shining through its luminous-y canopy* ahhhhhh. or....*depicts a beach with pure, fine, white sand. the water ever so blue which meets the sun at the horizon* awww! sigh. well, that would just be a dream, far away from here for now.

Recumbence

a new month. June. that reminds me. today is Jamie's Birthday! JAMIE! all the best in everything you do. please, you're 17 now, dont be childish. >< hahaha. rahrs!

first, a song. Bianca Ryan has this awesome voice. i'm sure you've seen her on America's Got Talent. she was the winner anyway. lol. this stellar 13 year old girl has a magnificent voice, thankfully, honed in the last 2 years. here is a song off her album. Its entitled "I Will". i LOVE IT! (: oh imeem didnt have it, and i didnt wana upload it. so i took it from RadioBlogClub. it isnt the best quality, but dont complain. (: lol.



i havent done this in a while. my hopes and dreams for June. well. this month, i'm hoping to be happier. i always wana be happy. and i never fully understood what it meant even when people said it to me. i'd think "what? you mean you're not happy?" lol. i know how it feels to be unhappy. or just simply, alright. i wana be estatic, elated, overjoyed. psyched even. i dont just wana be mediocre. its not enough for me. so thats what i'm wishing for. i'm also wishing to be less bored. exactly the oppostie of what i'll be talking about next.

today was yet another stay-home boring day. stayed home all day. even though i challenged myself to study for my econs test, i didnt. what a failure. lol. and then wrong things start happening. affects my mood a lot. just like how some things never seem to go right. like how some things are jinxed to go wrong. what am i even talking about?! sorry if i didnt reply people online. i just dont feel like talking sometimes. and its my option to go offline, dont tell me to.

i watched Knocked Up. yes the one staring Katherine Heigl. i liked it even though it was draggy and slightly boring. but i felt that some things mentioned were so relatable. i felt a bit touched sometimes too. not moving, but just sweeeet. (: anyways. thats the best thing that happened to me today. heh. okay. maybe something else, but not mentionable.

some things were never meant to be said
sometimes you gotta just hold it back.

F: 01.06 - 494
B: 1330