Have You Ever?

just looking at that picture above. what do you see? do you see a curtain of bleak, but a slight tint of reassurance? or you do see beauty in a enigmatic manner..? or perhaps, you see dullness, sadness and worry? well, thats exactly what i see - for today.



i've been listening to old songs. songs that really did remind me of what i've done in my past. things that i held so dear to my heart. things that affected my ever emotion in the past. now, looking back at it all, i just sympathise with myself about how stupid i became. i should've been so much smarter in life. but no, i had to be this slow. its not that i'm stupid to be like this today. but more of how i could've been more different.

sometimes i wonder what is it that made me who i am today. what is the esscence of this facade - marcus. who is the one who is me. what makes me? what is it that people find attractive or that they dislike about me? what IS my personality? what really defines how i do things, what i do? what defines ME? have you ever questioned yourself like that? well i did today.

anyway. something really did get me thinking today. its not bad. its just a shaking up. i used to have everything laid before me. i used to be pampered like the son of a king or whatnot. but now, i'm changed, and i'm glad i am. i'm happy it is this way anyway. i dont like taking things for granted. but i miss the past. i miss how i'd be blissfully happy. i mean, its hard to do that now. really. i'm just really hoping for that day to come. (:

alrights. got my ITB project back. ((: i'm glad to say that i got an A! ha. really really happy beacuse i spent HOURS doing that project. sigh. well, PBL part 2's up. the website design. and then after, the database design. *faints* alrights. gonna end off here.

lotsa love! (:

don't, no more.
i miss your love in every way