Incomplimentary.

a day that started off depressing
just got worse down the course.
yes, my day sucked quite bad.
no one's fault. my mood swung.
appetite lost. nothing left unsaid.
its how i don't know my future.
how i'm worried of the unknown.
waiting - as if i lived to die - today.

not in the best of moods. went window shopping. didnt find what i wanted. got a bit pissed. i hate it like that. when you are looking for something and dont get it. POA was quite alright. hope i do relatively well becuase ITB's gonna suck real bad.

life in general is fine. i dont know what else to comment on. my person is tired. my mood is less. my eyes are closing and my back is aching. i should shut up now. no, i wont consider this emo. i have yet to come up with a word to describe how i feel.

thats all.

Undertonic Lamentations

sometimes i should just die,
cease to affect those around me.

hello darlings.
i decided to be a bit more myself today. that is, emo. i dont know whats wrong with me ever since i stepped into my house. i wanted to go out to meet Ilona for a chat and probably a movie. but no, i couldn't bring myself to go out. firstly, i had tonnes of dejecting revision stacks on POA to flip through, thoroughly. and i know that there are people who are enjoying themselves right now as i cuddle up ever so cosily in bed to revise how to do an adjustment for depreciation. something to speak of today that is fun.

today, i met Madalene for lunch. we went to Holland. talked a lot! ha. it was fine. i felt really tired. somehow. i know it didnt translate in terms of body language Maddie, but yeah i was. anyways. i came home and was supposed to meet Lona in town to watch Sex And The City. who the hell cares if i'm not 18. like hello i've snug in, like no one has ever done so before? *rolls eyes*. anyways i ended up staying at home. so so so very comfy. (: very sarcastic too..

i dont have much to say today. tennis was fun today. we learnt the right surfing. like finally. but i'll need a lottt of practice. hah. oh yeah. erm. GSS is on. havent shopped my fill. obviously. it lasts for 2 frickkin months! i feel the urge to get a pair of jeans. i dont know who would be so uber nice to accompany me, but i'd love someone to.....tomorrow. (:

i feel like i've lost touch with my dears. Johanna! Weijin, all so far away. i miss you guys. )): dearly. even though i've never met Jo, i still find a part of me not right. i wanted to say "incomplete" but thats not the right word to describe it. hah.

shalt end here. long and draggy boring post toady. blog hits are starting to fall. inadvertently. ahh. whatever.

Re-Reverse Our Chemistry.

hey people!

let me first start off by saying something VERY appalling. i was reading news online and found an old article that dated to April 2007. I was shocked to see that Singapore's laws are very.....strict. well actually, strict isnt the right word to use. hmmm. *CONTENT UNSUITABLE FOR......... you know what. who the hell cares whether its suitable for young kids. lol.

"In November, the Ministry of Home Affairs said it was considering decriminalizing oral and anal sex between consenting heterosexual adults"

huh? what? you mean you can be jailed for having oral sex? what? is this the most ridiculous piece of sexual news i've heard in my life? i think so. i think its so stupid. what happens in a relationship between husband and wife is up to them! why the hell does the country step in? seriously why even have a LAW that allows you to jail people for having oral sex?! must we be taught and spoon-fed all the way? oh my goodness. its not like
1. all singaporeans are gonna be law abiding ANYWAY
2. by not doing it, it will create a generation so eager and proper and prim. i mean, look at our citizens these days.... *rolls eyes in disgust*

anyways. today, i didnt go out with Fanny! because she had some art to do. oh well. i thougt it was gonna be a horrible day. until i smsed Shus! and she was free. so i met up with her. she was looking good (: i'm glad i met her. also met her friend.. i think his name was Anton ? hah. anyways. i ended up shopping...... lol. i bought stuff from Guess and AX Kiewu, dont kill me! and so i've burnt a hole quite big in my pocket. no shopping for a few weeks! >< this rose was given by Sylvia! i remember okay sylv! ha. yes. parting, graduation gift! haha. i LOVE it! ((:
errr. this was at the beach. the only one where you can inhibit in Singapore. yes. sentosa. lol. long long time ago. ha.
HAHAH Weijin! i hope you don't mind. ><
this picture below was taken with Xenia. thanks xenx for accompanying me that day after work! ha. yes. this is somewhere in the CBD area! lol.
for more random pictures, please visit my DEVIANTART for em'. my link is located on the right column. (: hah. yeahs. alrights. a post long enough.

lotsa love!!

All Of My Energy.

i'm stuck sick on Keri Hilson's new single. Entitled "Energy" its a catchy and likeable song. especially the melody and everything. its just so loveable. i just started listening to less than an hour ago! but its a real new song. i cant even find a good version online. so you gotta go hear it on her website or something alrights! ha.
ahhh. i've been rather happy yesterday. and i know why. hope you loved it ((: ha. anyways. Weijin was asking me why i'm so happy these days. WEIJIN! i'm not entirely happy everyday you know.. hah. everyone has up's and down's. so happen that you catch me when i'm sooooo high up! ((: hahaha.
BIRTHDAYS! today is Ernest's Birthday! here's wishing you a very happy birthday! and may everything be smooth sailing for you! June's birthday is tomorrow! but i will still do one shoutout here! ha. May you be happy this year! Study hard girl, do the best you can alrights! ((:
going out with Fanny much later! i'm gonna be looking for sale items. more of observing luh! wont be buying. i mean GSS is here, and cash isnt really a easy breeze. you gotta spend it wisely >< yes Kiewu, this coming from me. LOL and HENCE, i wana see what there is first! ((: whee! haha.
POA this saturday. nervous as hell. yet, i havent actually started revising. i'm so screwed. im'ma die real soon. damnit uh. *crosses fingers* i hope i do well miraculously. after my common tests, and during the holidays. i MUST go out with: Magdalene, Madalene, Weijin, Shus, Lona, Delia, Sylvia. AND ALL MY OLD FRIENDS! i miss them so so so so so much!! ANYHOWS. i edited a few pictures. i'm sure you saw them in between every paragrah! ha. i absolutely love the last one. no, not because there's my NAME. i'm not that conceited! LOL.


aites. thats all! lotsa love!

Intangible Emotions.

hey people.
late post today. didnt exactly have the luxury of time to blog. ha. anyways. i was thinking a lot today. partly because today was kind of a bore. i felt so bored in my heart. just screaming to break free. and something wasnt right. i felt incomplete. anyway. i whiled my time away in school. i dont know why i even bothered waking up so early to "do project" when we just sat there doing nothing. all i did was teach jamie how to take a screenshot.

right. so to explain my mood. i just started thinking about a lot of old stuff. just reminisce. its not bad, neither good. it just made me really dull. like moodLESS. not moody. just lack of my energy. it was like i was kinda dead. but this didnt really affect many people. i was at home the whole day ANYWAY.

sometimes you're given something so special. so rare. and when you treasure it, you might tend to lose it somehow. giving something too much attention only makes it more reliant on you. well, thats if it wasn't a product. if it wasnt, if it was a person. that makes perfect sense. and in fact, its rather depressing most of the time. but ask yourself. what can you do about it? okay. this is really silly. i dont know why i just typed that entire paragraph above. i'm just kinda...unhappy about myself. thats just all. and i just feel like i must say something. so there. anyway. i shall just end off here.

i like the new Idol song. its nice. Time Of My Life. awesome. give it a listen!

Hair Dilemma.

hey darlings.

i put a poll board on the right column area. please do vote! haha. i'm really at a crossroad. dilemma. arghh. haha. i dont know if i should or not. really. i mean. cut of course. but leave it long or cut it short( as in so i can style my hair up and all).

so here's a before and after pic. or rather. current and older spiky looking hair pic. (: oh yea. i dont have a "i dont know" option. but if you dont know, just tag me a idk with your name okay! (: haha. alrights. here the pics are. oh, dont comment on the pics. ><

current: (really. FCUK IT!)

Used to be:

thanks loves! erm. if you think i'm being so bimbotic about asking people if my hair should be cut. you got to realise that i'm a very people oriented person. so, i like knowing others' opinions. (: yes. thank you for letting me know yours!! whee!

Bleak Bliss.

i love oxymorons. no. oxymorons have NOTHING at all to do with morons! hah. i learnt that word in Primary 6. i remember, during english lesson, Mrs Bala got this NIE teacher to teach us all sorts of stuff. one of them were oxymorons. there were paradox-es and also.. stereotypes. well, at THAT age, who knew that the word "stereotype" would be used so often 5 years later! ha.

anyway. i wana thank all my dear readers for your dutiful reading and checking back to my blog. my hits have been rather good. (: quite happy about it. okay. i was actually searching for a the song "Hallelujah" by Kate Voegele. its an awesome song. its slow, soothing and very nice. i love the song. but.... its not popular, so imeem only has one, which is a 30 sec version. not good at all. so, search for it at yahoo! or something. alrights!

i finally finished my proposal for ITB! FINALLY! and submitted it as well. so its all complete. (: had dinner at Imperial Restaurant. it was good! didnt take my cam, so no pics. ha. anyways. great singapore sale has taken its fair share of kiasu singaporeans and a handful of tourists. orchard road was JAMMED pack. i didnt need to get out of the bus to realise so. lol.

been on the verge of a flu i think. throat started to sore a bit. and nose started 'running' the whole time i was rushing to complete my project. utterly irritating. i'm conveniently blaming it on the workload. =X ha. hey come on! who knew BFS would be this difficult! ha. shoppping this thursday! dinner on wed. project maybe on tues. i'm not sure. this week is gonna pass real fast. and not forgetting, my E-Learning stuff to complete online. DAMNIT.

chanced upon that happy moment,

let it float away? its your token...

Redressing.

Whats nice, is to know that i've got you.
That you're there for me, always.

Hey loves!
i'm doing this post so very late for a good reason. and i need to complain a bit. very slightly. i'm rushing to complete my ITB project. and hence, couldnt find the time to blog yesterday. ha. yes. its almost 3a.m and i'm still doing work. its quite sad really. how it eats into my weekENDS. and just because the due date is today, i needa rush it JUST BECAUSE i'm the leader as well. well, once bitten twice shy. now i'm the wiser. (:

nothing much happened yesterday. just went out to dinner. and well. thats about it all. ha. slacked away most of my time during the day. watched teevee, used the comp, played with Belle and Duchess. ahhh. okay. enough of my day.

well, recently, i've felt very emotive. no, not emotional. but emotive. like the free movements of emotions. happiness, sadness and all kinds of feelings. good and bad. this has made me so vulnerable and weak to everything. i'm quite sure there's nothing wrong with me. maybe its because i'm too lost, in general. like the whole projects and insufficient rest. lack of friends to talk to sometimes. (also due to my busi-ness) and lastly, the constant mental thinking on my part - which is inevitable somehow.

gonna be a long and horrible day today i think. just guessing. lets hope it turns brighter. gonna blog later again! (:

Deprivation, Desperation.

hey loves!
lets start off with a picture that paints a thousand "wow's". this is a sunset picture of Utah's sky. taken from flickr. and i found it really beautiful like how the clouds were and the sun's colour is just so amazing. (:

i was browsing through my iTunes when i chanced upon a few songs that, yes, were very normal, but they just meant a world to me. they're not superficial songs. "Always On Your Side", by Sting and Sheryl Crow. yes, i have talked about this song. its really tear-possible. ha. and then "When It Comes" by Tyler Hilton. also mentioned this song before. so today, his song's gonna be here. ponder on the lyrics. its really touching and it means much more than the happy tune. imeem didnt have it, so radioblogclub did!



School today went alright overall. CATS presentation was good. POA quiz sucked. and tennis was rather good too. (: and err. ITB project making progress. needing to put in a lot of effort. yeah, thats what the leader needs to sacrifice. his time and sleep right? ha. thanks to Brandon also uh. he's been helping a lot! (: BMGT project needs to get started next week. Jamie! WHEN ARE WE GONNA DO THE PROJ.....!

NEXT WEEK IS E-LEARNING WEEK! which means that i need not wake up at 7 or 8 to go to school. but.....means that theres lotss of work to complete. and well, that sucks too lar. ha. alright. gonna end off here. GREAT SINGAPORE SALE HAS STARTEDD!!! who's gonna go shoppping sooon? (:

thats all for now. lotsa love!!

Its not the words,
but the attitude..

Doing This, Doing That.

the above pic wasnt taken by me. i cant do lomo streak pics. lol. anyway. today. a thursday. rather horrible day actually. let me narrate...

school started as normal, early in the morning at 9. was late for MIEC class. oh bother. i almost died. i dont understand why there are so many many acronyms for it. gahhh. then POA was no better. i almost slept in that one. she was rushing as if the school was gonna sack her if she didnt finish lessons on time. Business Communication E Mail Test thing was okay. rather stupid. hahah.

anyways. I GOT INTO AMBASSADORS! ((((((: hah. i am elated. i cannot tell you anything more than the word "elated" has to offer! ha. well, so now i'm in Envoy's and Ambassador's. and i need to choose one. and i guess i'll choose Amps. i mean, honestly, which one is better? haha. =X okays. but thats just my one sided view. (:

yes yes yes. David Cook won Idol. whats the beef? eurgh. i'm kinda devastated but not in the "OMGOMOGMOMGOMG" sense. but i still am quite sad. i wanted Archuleta to win. Yeah he may be younger and all. but face it. if you wana compare voice, both of em' dont have it. well said, this season of Idol sucked!!

wrapping up everything. American Idol 7, America's Next Top Model C10, Desperate Housewives S4 are all over. oh, i heard Gossip Girl's first season's over too? goodness. everything ends at the same tme. hmmm. whats there to watch these days over than good ol' MTV? hmmm?

CATS presentation tomorrow. POA quiz tomorrow. ITB Proposal discussion tomorrow. what isnt on tomorrow? well, i've got a good idea what isnt. ><

loves!

Surrender.

ahhhh. talked to Jamie about Nuffnang today. and she asked me to create an account to try it out. so, thats what i did. (: i know it provides a counter too. hmmm. wonder how things'll go. haha. anywyas. i dont aspire to be a famous blogger anytime. never would i want to be. its like getting a young kid to be a rock star at 7. simply impossible.

had 4 grueling hours of Business Management today. almost slept during lecture. i dont know why the school teaches us such stuff. simply illogical. teaching us how to PLAN? and MAKE DECISIONS? isnt that a little bit more towards the "common sense" area? oh yeah, i forgot. some people dont know how to. ><>Australian Idol 5 Winner, Natalie Gauci. She sang the Idol song "Here I Am" and its an awesome track. it'll grow on you. it took me a while to find the studio version of this song. but i'm sure its worth the effort! ((: hah. give it a listen!



i also happened to edit a picture of the sky of Australia. some people were asking me what's my obsession with the skies. honestly, i dont have any obsession. i just think that the sky is so perfect. everything about it is. be it cloudy or not. its just so beautiful. its like a masterpiece always ready for you to feast your eyes on......okayy..enough about the sky. hope you enjoy the pic below!

Gone Forever.

loathsome i might be
detestful so am i
disliked, just as much
piksome, all the more
should i jsut vanish
for your sake?

i found that on my old blog. i felt that it was so not me. what made me write that? hmmmm. i dont know what it is with me and sad sad emo titles of posts. like today's. when clearly, i'm not really depressed or anything. but still, the need for a good title is important. i dont know how so. dont ask. rhetoric, as usual. lol.

i was and still am very very interested in knowing how Nuffnang actually lets people earn money? like you know all those "i serve nuffnang" and all signs. hmmm. i dont know how it works. but you know, i dont really wana know. i dont see how people should make a living out of blogging. not unless you're perez hilton or trent. yeah. we're Asians. face the fact. we cant be Eurasians.

this week really sucks. i just had my ITB presentation. awfully awful. sorry. it was. lol. and there's gonna be a POA quiz on friday. and assessment for business communication (20%) on thursday on..? EMAILS. wtf right. eurgh. and there's CATS presentation on friday. AND there's the proposal to submit by sunday. yikes. i should die. really. i hate school already.

my maid's going back to Philippines soon! for holiday. ha. i'm gonna survive lar. somehow. lol. and i cant wait till after common tests. i dont know. just wana get it over and done with. just cant stand it. technically, i havent even started studying like crazy yet, but still. haha. garhs. lol. anyways. i dont know what to blog about and i'm running out of words.

oh. before i leave. i saw Fanny's personal nickname today. i felt it was so true. it was something like this: "No matter how attractive a person, if you dont like them, they can get uglier by the day." sounds really true. way to go fanny! (:

loves!

Refilling The Cup.

morning to one and all. (:

right. so i'm in love with Kimberly Locke's new single "Fall". the one she performed on Idol. its an amazing song. her vocals are just so wonderful even though its a bit husky sometimes. but its just a great song! (: okay. here it is!



today's vesak day! hmmm. been around in singapore for 16 years of my life, but i interestingly dont know what the essence of vesak day is. ha. well, honestly, i cant really be bothered to find out. i'm piled up with my ITB project. i just finished the powerpoint slides to tuesday's presentation! WHEE! hah.

alrightys. i was surfing my computer for old stuff. and i found this pic. not too long ago. just in 2007 if i'm not mistaken. during Weijin,Shus and Lona's birthday party. it reminded me of how close we used to be. and how i miss them ALL SO MUCH!! shus wanted to meet me this weekend. i should've. i havent seen her in forever. and same to lona. that busy girl with school and her life. and weijin! COME BACK QUICK! sigh. i miss my best buds!!! )): anyway. here is the "emo-gothic" looking pic that took me back to the past!



Celebrated my sis's birthday yesterday. well her birthday's technically on the 17th, but she was too busy so, pushed it to 18th! we went to Asia Grand. it was good. i dont know WHY, but i am feeling very sentimental today. like i realised how i love my parents and sister so much. that if they were to leave me, i'd break down terribly. i miss my friends so much too. emotive. not emotional. just emotive.

okay. to end off. i dont get why everyone's MSN has the rainbow sign before their names. is there something going on? lols.

lotsa love!

Praying For Time.

currently listening to Praying For Time by Carrie Underwood. the live version of the song she sung during Idol Gives Back. and i'm loving it. (:

talking about Idol. well, its down to the 2 Davids. i wonder which would win. i prefer David Archuleta definitely because i feel that he has a brighter future and he does so much with his voice and doesnt raise his head so high in conceit. ha. thats my opinion. dont judge me based on yours. type it in your OWN blog instead! ha.

well, we also know that Whitney Thompson won ANTM Cycle 1o! i'm glad actually. kinda happy for the girl. she deserved it and as a representation of those that get so horribly discriminated based on size. i absolutely love her covergirl picture. so much that i just HAD TO print screen her and edit it until it became like the pic below! ((: ha.



alrights. its kinda...late now. so i shall end off here. vesak day on monday. which means..? no school to attend! but presentation for ITB due tuesday. brrr.

Rhetoric..Reply?

Ironies. Not far and few. on contrary, often, frequent. its amazing how our lives are full of them. the words we play with. the ideas we conjure up in our sick,sick minds. there's a never ending list. and our conscience alone defines our limits to ironies we are able to accept and be perfectly fine with. sometimes, i believe that a person loses their face value when they become oblivious to their surroundings. they become callous, all bitter inside about everyone and everything around them. you know, i always say. why not make a friend than en enemy.

i prefer knowing people on friendly terms rather than get to know them unkindly. it isnt part and parcel of me. and it makes me very uncomfortable doing so. but if you force me, little choice am i left with, obviously i would have to reciprocate. there's a level which would blow. don't push it so much, my dear. it wont be nice. when i tell you nicely, dont mistake it for being hideous. i'm just warning you. i never scolded you. yes. although no names were stated. but still. the intention was there.

i know you wouldnt care about whatever i say. of course you wouldnt. who does? a nut will be a nut. hard to crack. never exposing its inner being. its gonna stay that way forever. sad, but really. you wouldn't budge. i dont know who you are. i probably would be shocked to find out, hence, i dont want to. all i can say is that if you wana defame others, flame others. go ahead. the world isnt a perfect place. i wouldnt bother tracing you. dont think its impossible. obviously its possible. but i wouldnt. whats in it for me anyway? ha.

i'm a person who forgives a lot easier than others. i hold less grudges and bitterness within. i hope. i'm not being conceited and boastful. there's nothing much to boast about. i'm just made this way. just like how i'm sensitive. and how i get shocked when people flame me. but still, what choice am i left with?

this disposition is a site where i pen my thoughts. if you displease, please leave. why even bother coming back to read a person's posts you hate? i never got a chance to find out who hated me so much when i was 15. but still, i hope that people dont hate me now. if you dont like me, come up to me straight with it. dont be all hypocritical. because if you're hypocritical, i am left with no choice but to be coy with you. and you didnt really like it, wont like it much should i continue huh.

so, all said and done.i hope that the dust settles and i dont see another anonymous or unknown tagger flaming me. thank you (:

False Pretence.

been a while.
someone very nice tagged my blog the other day. still wondering who'd be so courteous enough to not recognize me. awww. its okay. maybe sometimes your eyesight might fail you. or perhaps its the brain's ineffectiveness to function normally. oh poo.

anyway. i watched The Other Boleyn Girl. and it was traumatizing. it was one hell of a horrible movie. emotions kept running on high. and things didnt turn out very nicely. i love all three main actors/actressess. Natalie Portman, Scarlett Johansson, Eric Bana. awesome trio. and thats probably why i didnt like the ending. ha. anyways. it might be boring for many of you. i've learnt to appreciate such english movies.

ITB project has been hell. it is a horrid project. i hate it. and right now, as i'm slurping up my supper (yes, its slurp-able), i'm still thinking how to put the proposal together by tomorrow. sigh. absolutely irritable. to think this is only PBL1, is just perfectly comforting. (((: Interview tomorrow for Ambassadors again. thursday, meeting kiewu to go to town i think. sigh. friday project day again. oh my goodness. i think i'm starting to lose my life. lol.

Business Management for 4 hours, again, tomorrow. great. just what is missing from my bright, bright day. (: oh and anyways. the 2 pictures. the first one was the original picture. the second(black,dark,etc) was after editing(duh). hah. hope you like it. (:

lotsa love!

Fallen Short.

Heaven bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight

an old song. but still awesome and lovely. Sarah McLachlan captures beauty with her gentle and carefully coaxed voice. amazing what she does yes? "Fallen" is a song that i used to listen to when i was feeling a bit disoriented about many things in life. its nice to know that we have songs like this when the people around us are so oblivious to our phases. anyways. here it is.



rushed to finish e-portfolio. busy all the way. totally no time to even unwind. my weekends are turning into temporary weekdays. its very disappointing when you have so much that isnt working well in your life as it already is. sigh. i guess the world wont learn to accept how simple you are, because they will see it as mere simplicity. artless for practical reasons. how narrow minded the world is...

i am starting to wonder. is there more to life? something i've talked much about. think about it. not just superfically, but deeper. when we do things. do we do it because its a practice? or rather, do we just follow others. whats in doing it when there are tonnes of other things left to do? when you look into the sky(not singapore's), do you see stars that represent your life, and those around you? or do you just see a picture that painted a thousand words. words that you didnt bother to ponder over? that you're the only thing that affects others? words alone, determine your tone, body language, attitude. how are you gonna phrase it?

Stereolight.

been a while since i last did a post. okay. just 3 days ago. fine. lol.

Mother's Day happens to be today.. and i also happened to do a card for my mom. i remembered my mom telling my sis and i that she doesnt want flowers and gifts because its just a commercial "gimmick". so, i did something from my heart. (: i dont know why i'm even talking about it on my blog. lol.

i rushed to submit my PBL thing for ITB. discussed it with Brandon before submitted it to Quah-Goh. goodness. its gonna be so so so busy for me real soon. ITB, MIEC and POA tutorials to be done later, NJRC Marketing Plan too. ARGHH! its 3.18a.m for goodness sake. sometimes, i think the world is a place full of workaholics. people are just too faithful to working hard. talking about school. i'm still considereing taking up tennis. heh. anyway. i got into the next round of Ambassadors! interview on wednesday again. last round! (:

anyhoots. todays post seems to be haphazzard again. i tend to be like this when i feel a little drowsy, and a little fed up with my work/life. heh. okay. shall end off here. i so need a retreat. and i want my weekends back. its not nice having 7 weekdays, you know?

loves!!

Saturated.

what doesnt kill you, only makes you stronger.
i dont just love you. i love the way you love me.

ahh. such wonderful sentences with meaning. it may seem rather dense on my side as i took them from Desperate Housewives. but still, give it credit. 3 out of 6 episodes were very touching and held great truth and meaning. ha. okay. my obsession, my love, my craze. omgomg. i wonder who is gonna get voted off American Idol next week.hmmmmm. and i wonder who gets eliminated from ANTM this week! arghh! Dominique received quite a lot of airtime for next week's preview.....hmmm. lol. okay. speculation session over!

i'm looking forward to tennis tomorrow. dont know. for some reason i think i like it. might even consider taking it up. lets hope weijin comes back and teaches me! ha. rahrs! anyways. discussing ITB project tomorrow after CATS as it is due this week. quite lost, but hopefully, will be on task as of tomorrow. (: anyhoots. had long lectures today. MIEC was okay. POA was uber confusing. she was like rushing through the whole lecture. i didnt really understand. moreover, i kinda got a headache. gahhhs. maybe it has something to do with my awfully painful teeth. ):

i think this post is rather preppy. i find it silly. heh. anyways. just a short fact to remind myself. i havent gone shopping in the last 2 months for certain. at LEAST 2 months. probably more actually. and thus, I NEED TO SHOP! hah. wracking my brain on what to get for my mom. i dont know what she'd want for Mothers' Day this Sunday. hmmm.on top of that, sis's birthday next Saturday. goodness. havent done present shopping in a long time. hah.

this weekend's gonna be stressful, still. but i'm looking forward to it coming.
lotsa love!

Holding On For You.

thats the title of this OLD OLD song i heard. its by Liberty X remember? yes. they split up last year btw. yeah. anyhoots. Holding On For You is an awesome song to listen to whenever wherever for whoever. really. ((:



right. anyways. had my Ambassador's interview today. went really weirdly. heh. i was asked to sing by our dear Kimberly. ((: how very nice. doesnt mean i like music means i love singing or rather, crooning...anyway. i sung When You Believe's chorus. uber weird. hah. anyhows, shant press onto it. pointless. school on the whole kinda sucked. Business Management for 4 hours is no joke. i almost died. really. the whole Environmental Organization thing. sigh. gosh. tomorrow's either worse or just as bad...6 hours of lessons.

changed my braces colour today. sporting a lime green set. 6 chain bottom. 10 chain top. ouch. he said he'll make it super tight because he wants to take it out the next time around. lets cross our fingers he does ((: teeth! please move closer together!! well, apparently, he has said that this was the "last few times" for more than 10 times. orthodontists and their tricks. heh.

anyways. thats all for today. shall end off here. (:
lotsa love!

Memories, Just Memories.

i was reading sylvia's blog today. and i felt so passionate about what she said. this is why i'm not gonna be talking about myself and my boring day. i took this from her blog:

"Anyway, talking about secondary school friends. During the O levels/posting results we all used to hang out a lot. Chalets, bbqs, movie marathon & all. It's pretty scary how much we don't talk to each other anymore. Okay, more like me me me me me me & other people. I do envy those in NP cause they get to see each other & still hang out & everything."

i strongly agree with her. it used to be meetings every few days. i mean, from that, to this. whereby we havent even seen each other in forever! we might not be best-est of friends, but we still are, friends. think about it, what is YOUR definition of a friend? sylvia! i really miss the times we hung out with the whole bunch. Cecelia, you too! i havent heard from you in ages.

there always are friends that would look back and see what they left behind. like Sylvia, they would try to arrange a meeting or promise one. Zhengyan and Cheryl Teo are others. And there are some whom would just move on with life, as if the chapter where we were in ended, and its a new chapter now. No names mentioned. Its not Cecelia. there are those who are the epitome of what i am talking about.

NP is a place where yes, many Queenswayans did go to. This may be true. but everyone moves on, gets to know new friends. we never stick together for LIFE. take note, i'm not making a sweeping statement. some of us may be in the same classes. this is far and few. people move on, and good friends become mere acquaintances overnight. not surprising. friends dont owe us their life, sealed with a vow and a certificate, unlike a marriage. Sad as it is, this is reality.

SYLVIA! i still hope to see you soon. i've not forgotten you! ha. right. and tomorrow is 4 hours of Business Management and then Ambassadors Interview and dental. (: i'll leave you with a picture of me. no, not emo, as many say. (: oh. i watched Over Her Dead Body. its the same plot as Blithe Spirit. NICE! absolutely LOOOOVE Eva Longoria Parker. striked it out cuz i dont like her husband. lol

Retreat.

firstly. a song. i heard this song agesss ago! but now, its released as her single. Fergie's "Finally"! ((: i absolutely love it, AGAIN!



its something that i've wanted to do in a very long time. watch DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES SEASON 4! i dont know for whatever particular reason why neither Star World nor Channel 5 has aired the season. its like HOTTT please. and so i watched, or rather, downloaded the first and second episodes online. WHOA. i think it must've been the ONLY episode where i teared a bit. LOL. anyways. i reiterate. Desperate Housewives arent for bimbos. You're possibily the greatest bimbo in believing that it is, in fact, bimbotic. (:

Wednesday is the interview for NP Ambassadors. wondering how it would go. i wonder who's Kimberly. lol. i'm a very curious person. probably learning from my white Persian cat. ((: ahhhh. she's the most adorable ball of white fur in my house! anyhoots. i scheduled dental on Wednesday as well. i dont know how long i've procrastinated my dental. i so want to get my braces taken off... sigh.

i received something today by snail mail. from the army. awesome right? i know. its like promoting the weird polytechnic-diploma scheme. whatever it really is. i blogged about this because i caught this at the bottom of the pamphlet. i quote. "Send in you application to join Our Army at our career talk and receive a pair of GV movie passes." wow. how attractive an offer whereby i exchange my life with a pair of GV movie passes? sounds tempting........ OMG. what the HECK?! i was like thinking "this is SOOOO cheap." they could do SO much better! how much more can i emphasise?! anyways. like i said, stupid army.

bcomm presentation later. flying fishcake. shall end off here! (:

Too Strong,For Too Long.

sometimes when i look back at my past, i feel like i've done so much wrong. and now, that i realised, i wonder if i should've changed that. but why? really. i'm living my days in the present, not the past. lets live out the future.

well, watched some weird videos on youtube. they didnt exactly make me feel very peaceful. we actually have INSANE people on earth that stand for many things we would never even think of doing. scary. very intimidating.. striked fear in me instantly. gah.

lessons gonna be long long long tomorrow. going to help aryani in her studies right after school. mathematics. (: hah. anyways. all you students can do it alrights! ((: study hard. anyhoots. talking about studies, MIEC is killing me. really. whole supply, demand and market equilibrium. gahhh. kill me. LOL.

alrights. end off here.
LOVES!

That Radiohead.

School is slowly, but surely, driving me crazy. i realised i have many many many things to do. the only things i dont have projects or big tasks to do...is like POA. i've got ITB,MIEC,BMGT,BCOMM,CATS projects and presentations etc. omg please. am i like the only one who thinks this is quite crazy. oh yeah. people would just say: "you've gotta get used to it. this is poly life" blah blah. i'm not complaning. i just know i'll die by the time i reach year 3. i made it into Envoys! (: everyone did. LOL.

Weijin asked me why my blog posts were so emo-ed. i replied him that sometimes i find that i dont have something to look forward to, in my life. its like there was only one reason. one good reason. but with that reason eradicated, there was no more to live for. that was why i sounded suicidal. worry not. i dont contemplate suicide so easily. it takes more than emotions. anyways. everything's said and done. lets not bring out the past. (:

i'm looking forward to a few movies! Sex And The City! and What Happens In Vegas! (((: haha. Sarah Jessica Parker! Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz!! hawt! lol. okay. Ernest was listening to like this song. and its really nice. Its by Olivia Ong. She was a singaporean born girl, who went to Japan for a reason which i am unable to recall, right after her O's. And i think she made it quite big. Its entitled "Sometimes When We Touch ". hah. yeahhhs.

Katarzyna is out of ANTM. ): i was hoping she'd make it further. she came in with one of the best walks and the best model looks. sigh. seems some rumours about getting signed onto another company arose. but those, are just rumours. not official. HAH. right. anyways. some of us think its down to like Anya and Whitney. even though Fatimah has strong features and i DO like Fatimah. lol. ahiya. love them all uh!

alright. longer and draggier post than the one before. shall end off here. (:
lotsa love!

Turn Me Around.

something to look forward to later today.
tennis, CATS class, ITB project, MicroEcons discussion.
today would be estatically hyped up.
i am so psyched. i couldnt not look forward.

A new. Anew.

"There can be miracles, when you believe.
Though hope is frail, its hard to kill.
Who knows what miracles, you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will.
You will, when you believe."

someone once told me that if it was meant to be, it would take off perfectly. i guess it just wasnt this time. when i thought of how small an opportunity it was for me to even make that reply on the ever popular social network, i was amazed that such could even happen. it was the first time i'd done something so extreme. every subsequent one, i never failed to turn down immediately. i put so much hope into it. but what difference does it make now? our love's floated out of the window, floated out through the back door.

pointless in making more sense to it. anyways. i drowned and downed myself with a feast of movies today. every moment of sadness never did fail to well my eyes up in a tear or two. such vulnerability in me. anyway. i watched Harold and Kumar (OMG. this was SO funny!) and then watched The Hottie And The Nottie. (the nottie was quite stunning in the end uh!) and then watched Doomsday. (kinda draggy and haphazzard) and finally, Definitely,Maybe again. (almost teared again!) overall, the movie marathons did make me think of it less. but pain is pain. i'll only be postponing it. memories will still linger in me. it hurts.

to all my friends who messaged me today. sorry i didnt exactly reply you. i wasnt in the mood. to Brandon and Bryan. thanks for calling me incessantly for a total of 28 times if i'm not mistaken. Bryan 16. and Brandon 12. LOLS. and i apologise to my project members for not turning up in school today. felt like sleeping on my sadness. couldnt have put up a front in school anyway. (: i hope i didnt miss out on much today! hah. for everyone who tagged, thank you for showing care. for once, i feel really loved by those around me. its been a long long time since i fell back on my friends.

Anyways. May is finally here! and its time to look forward to something else. This month in birthdays. Sister's. and...erm. yeah. and this month, all the secondary school students will be having their MYE's! ALL THE BEST! for many of you, it starts tomorrow, Friday! other than these events. i'm looking forward to.... just finding time to build closer and better rapports with those surrounding me. to stop imaging so much. move on with my life which is quite messed up. thanks to me. ANYHOO... just hoping things turn brighter for me. (:

alrights. shall end off here.
~and i thought. to the end of time? ha.


F: 01.05 - 674
B: 1177